Snap Into a Slim Jim (5e Spell)

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April Fools!
This content is not designed for use in regular games, and may affect overall balance and gameplay. Take caution when using this material.
Snap Into a Slim Jim
3rd-level Evocation
Casting time: 1 action
Range: 60 ft.
Components: M (Beef, pork, mechanically separated chicken, water, textured soy flour, corn syrup, salt, contains less than 2% of: natural flavors, dextrose, paprika and extractives of paprika, hydrolyzed soy protein, maltodextrin, lactic acid starter culture, barley malt extract, citric acid, soy lecithin, sodium nitrite - all of which are consumed by casting the spell).
Duration: Until dispelled

With the ceremonial break of a mysterious tube of what is legally called a "smoked meat stick", extra-culinary forces encase a non-creature object of your choice that is Large or smaller with the keto friendly treat that is good to eat - Slim Jim. The object will stay imprisoned in the unyielding swagger of beef, pork, mechanically separated chicken and spices until truly radical steps are taken to remove it.

Removing the affected object from the Slim Jim requires two actions. First, a creature must use an action to make a Sleight of Hand check against your Spell Save DC to attempt to remove the plastic packaging around this carnivore's dream come true. On a pass, the plastic packaging is removed, revealing more than 11 g of fearlessly flavorful protein per serving to the outside world. Next, a creature must use an action to make an Athletics check against your Spell Save DC to snap into the Slim Jim. On a pass, the ideal snack for any occasion (from road trips to falconry class) shatters, cascading its "meat" across a 60 ft. radius and rendering the affected object fully usable once again. This meat is made for munchin', and can be consumed by any creature to regain 1 hitpoint and be sated for today, as it sends its hunger to the hills.

At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell at SAVAGE SIZE by using a spell slot of 4th level, you can target an additional object.

Slim jim.png
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