Misspell (3.5e Spell)

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Enchantment (Compulsion)
Level: Bard 5, Sor/Wiz 5
Components: V, S, M
Casting time: 1 standard action
Range: Touch
Target: One Target
Duration: 1 round/level
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes

"I... I don't understand what happened. I swore I cast Meteor Swarm, why is there MEAT everywhere!?"

A terrible curse is afflicted on the enemy. Whenever they go to cast a spell, they must make an Intelligence check, DC 20 (+1 to the DC every 5 caster levels), or the spell they cast goes awry. The spell comes off in corrupt form, either a play on words or slightly misspelled, and never what one expects. Occasionally it is still beneficial, usually less so.

The new effect might target a new subject if required to specified in description, and may choose a new target randomly. If no conditions are met the spell simple fizzles with no clue of what error it may have been.

Below is a suggested list of corrupt spells from the SRD. While it is a joke spell, it had real, and useful applications... especially against non-intelligent spellcasters.

Material Component[edit]

1 Booklet filled with random words

Warped Spells A-D[edit]

Table: Warped Spells (A)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Acid Arrow Acid Arrow (Warped) The struck target takes no damage, but hallucinates and acts confused for the duration.
Acid Fog Acid Frog A frog made of acid hops at the enemy repeatedly.
Acid Splash Acid Slash Enchants the nearest source of slashing damage to deal an extra 1d4 acid damage until next round.
Aid Aide Summons a level 1 commoner who serves you for the duration of the spell.
Air Walk Err Walk Whenever the subject attempts to move, it instead moves in a random direction.
Alarm Alarm (Warped) As normal, but the alarm sounds the next day at dawn, instead of when an enemy approaches.
Align Weapon Align Weapon (Warped) Aligns weapon vertically or horizontally, making attacking difficult.
Alter Self Altar Self You are suddenly bound to a sacrificial altar and helpless. Hope there are no willing enemies about to make the sacrifice...
Analyze Dweomer Analyze D'Wormer Detects and gives a detailed biological analysis of all worms in 1 mile of you. The spell does not give positions - only number, type, and special abilities if any.
Animal Growth Animal Growth (Warped) You develop a gross, animal shaped tumor on your body.
Animal Messenger Cannibal Messenger A cannibal barbarian appears to take your message.
Animal Shapes Animal Shapes (Warped) All animals within range become simple geometric shapes of the same size - cubes, spheres, cylinders, and so forth.
Animal Trance Animal Dance The affected animals start to dance.
Animate Dead Animate Red All red colored items within range are affected by Animate Objects.
Animate Objects Anime Objects The target objects become cartoonish, as if drawn.
Animate Plants Animate Pants Your pants are affected by Animate Objects.
Animate Rope Animate Road The path on which you are standing starts moving.
Antilife Shell Antilaugh Shell Prevents any laughter in range, even Hideous Laughter.
Antimagic Field Animagic Field All magical weapons and shields are dancing, other magical items are intelligent.
Antipathy Antipathy (Warped) You absolutely hate everything.
Antiplant Shell Anti-Pant Shell All pants wink out of existence while in the area of effect.
Arcane Eye Are Canine You polymorph randomly into a riding dog, wolf, worg, or dire version of the same.
Arcane Lock Arcane Rock Conjures up a rock which glows with strong magic, but does nothing.
Arcane Mark Arcane Mark (Warped) Summons a confused level 1 wizard named Mark.
Arcane Sight Arcane Scythe Conjures up a scythe which glows with strong magic, but does nothing. Its size is appropriate for the caster.
Arcane Sight, Greater Arcane Scythe, Greater Same as Arcane Scythe, only one category larger.
Astral Projection Astro Projection As Astral Projection, but you end up in outer space. Your astral copy may not survive here, but you will just return to your body as per Astral Projection. Unlike Astral Projection, you may still be on the same plane.
Atonement Atone Mint Conjures a tasty mint which acts as the Atonement spell as normal when swallowed.
Augury Arguing As Augury but instead of a reply, you get in an argument with a non-dismissable cranky voice for 1 round/level.
Awaken Awaken (Warped) All sleeping creatures within range wake up.
Table: Warped Spells (B)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Baleful Polymorph Bale Full Polymorph Transforms the target into a Hay Golem.
Bane Bang A loud bang goes off, like a Thunderstone.
Banishment Vanishment You are affected by Greater Invisibility.
Barkskin Barkskin (Warped) Magic mouths appear on your skin, barking constantly.
Bear’s Endurance Bare Endurance As Bear's Endurance, but all subjects appear naked during duration.
Bear’s Endurance, Mass Bare Endurance, Mass As Bare Endurance, but affects multiple creatures.
Bestow Curse Bestow Purse Target gains an sparkling hot pink purse on their body (treat as an empty mundane sack). Purse is cursed not to leave the target, but it is functional, just embarrassing.
Binding Blinding As Blindness/Deafness, but only the blinding effect.
Black Tentacles Lack Tentacles Any target in area with tentacles loses those tentacles for the duration of the spell.
Blade Barrier Braid Barrier Wall of braided hair entangles and provides cover.
Blasphemy Blast Phlegm Sneeze, releasing a cone of sticky evil mucus.
Bless Bliss The caster feels like he just took a hallucinogenic drug, and starts hallucinating.
Bless Water Less Water Evaporates half of the water instantly.
Bless Weapon Less Weapon Weapon size shrinks by one.
Blight Bright Target gains a snazzy lens flare effect and glows.
Blindness/Deafness Blandness/Daftness The target either has their Cha reduced to 10, or their Wis reduced to 10. If it is lower than that normally there is no change.
Blink Blink (Warped) Subject of spell blinks.
Blur Burr The subject is covered in spiky burrs. Creatures attacking it in melee take 1d6 damage.
Break Enchantment Brake Enchantment The subject cannot move for 1 round/level.
Bull’s Strength Bill's Strength Gain the strength of the commoner, Bill, turning your score to 10.
Bull’s Strength, Mass Bill's Strength, Mass As Bill's Strength, but affects multiple creatures
Burning Hands Burning Hands (Warped) Caster's hands become swollen, itchy, red, with a burning sensation.
Table: Warped Spells (C)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Call Lightning Call Lightning (Warped) Communicate with distant lightning bolt, and learn where it struck or is striking.
Call Lightning Storm Call Lightning Storm (Warped) As Call Lightning (Warped) but with many bolts.
Calm Animals Clam Animals The animals cannot make any noise for the duration of the spell.
Calm Emotions Clam Emotions Silence subject when speaking of their feelings.
Cat’s Grace Cat's Face You get the face of a cat.
Cat’s Grace, Mass Cat's Face, Mass As Cat's Face.
Cause Fear Cause Fair At the nearest opportunity, a country fair will attempt to set up shop at this location.
Chain Lightning Chain Lighting All sources of light within range become covered in chains and bonds.
Changestaff Change Staff Nearest business suddenly fires all management and hires new ones, you are aware of this change.
Chaos Hammer Chaos Hammer (Warped) Summons a random dancing hammer-like weapon, which attacks everyone for a duration, then disappears. The summoned weapon is treated as Chaotic for purpose of bypassing DR.
Charm Animal Farm Animal The animal acts domesticated for the duration of the spell.
Charm Monster Farm Monster As Farm Animal, but affects any creature.
Charm Monster, Mass Farm Monster, Mass As Harm Monster, but affects multiple creatures.
Charm Person Farm Person As Farm Animal, but affects humanoids.
Chill Metal Chill Metal (Warped) A strange music (a sub-genre of metal) starts playing (source - the caster's hands).
Chill Touch Chill Torch All flames in 30 ft. burn blue and now deal cold damage instead of fire.
Circle of Death Circle of Meth Mass save vs euphoric helplessness.
Clairaudience/Clairvoyance Clear And Dense/Clear Buoyance Both forms of the spell make you partially transparent. The first grants the caster DR 5/adamantium, the second allows you to float on water as if it were land. Both last for 1 round/caster level.
Clenched Fist Quenched Fist As the spell Quench, as a touch attack, that lasts 1 round/caster level.
Cloak of Chaos Clock of Chaos All nearby time-pointing devices go wild.
Clone Crone As Clone, but Clone is an ugly hooknosed woman, the spell still works however.
Cloudkill Cloudkill (Warped) Slays a nearby cloud, no save, cloud drifts to ground and dissipates.
Color Spray Color Spay Cone causes animals to save vs become infertile.
Command Compend Subject must give a brief summery of one bit of knowledge about itself within its abilities to answer.
Command, Greater Compend, Greater As Compend, but for 1 round/level.
Command Plants Command Pants Give orders to a pair of pants as the Command spell. Strangely enough they animate long enough to obey.
Command Undead Compend Undead As Compend, but affects undead.
Commune Common As spell, but contacts a commoner, who probably will not know what you seek.
Commune with Nature Common with Nature As Commune, but contacts a common animal like a badger, who probably will not know what you seek, and translation of the badger may be needed.
Comprehend Languages Comprehend Slanguges As spell, but applies to strange dialects of languages, such as slang.
Cone of Cold Clone of Cold Forms a perfect duplicate of the caster carved out of ice in front of them.
Confusion Coin Fusion All your smaller change (such as copper pieces) fuses into the largest coins it can, typically platinum pieces, until it cannot fuse the value into smaller coins.
Confusion, Lesser Coin Fusion, Lesser As Coin Fusion, but only up to 5000g value.
Consecrate Coinsy Crate All your money animates and arranges into a large crate made of coins. Coins cannot be removed until dispelled.
Contact Other Plane Contact Other Plain Speak to someone in the next nearest plains.
Contagion Octagon A symbol of a glowing octagon appear on the target, treat as Arcane Mark.
Contingency Contingent Sea Seems to work until activated, then fills the area in 30 ft. deep with seawater instead.
Continual Flame Continual Blame Enchanted item does not glow, instead it talks, berating you constantly.
Control Plants Control Pants Take over control of another's pants.
Control Undead Control Unclad As Control Undead, but against naked creatures.
Control Water Control Waiter Waiter follows your commands as if under Suggestion.
Control Weather Control Feather Manipulate feathers up to 1 cu. ft./caster level as if by Telekinesis.
Control Winds Control Wands Attempt to set off a wand not currently in your possession by succeeding on a caster level check.
Create Food and Water Ate Food and Water You feel as if you just ate a full meal, even though you actually haven't.
Create Greater Undead Crate Greater Undead Same as Crate Undead, only twice HD.
Create Undead Crate Undead Wooden crates trap (caster-level) HD of undead, starting with weakest first. Treat as Forcecage, only wooden.
Create Water Create Daughter Generates a small girl to annoy and pester the caster for her every want and need. She stays for 1d4 hours. Vanishes if slain.
Creeping Doom Creeping Boom As Creeping Doom, but after 5 rounds any swarms you have suddenly explode without warning! Treat as a Fireball spell.
Crushing Despair Crushing Dis Pear Nearest pear is crushed to pulp, no save.
Crushing Hand Crushing Hand (Warped) Force hand gives painfully strong handshake to any free hand available, injures said hand.
Cure Critical Wounds Cure Critical Wounds (Warped) Cure any wounds from critical hits, no others.
Cure Critical Wounds, Mass Cure Critical Wounds, Mass (Warped) As Cure Critical Wounds (Warped).
Cure Light Wounds Cure Light Wounds (Warped) Cure any wounds from light-based attacks.
Cure Light Wounds, Mass Cure Light Wounds, Mass (Warped) As Cure Light Wounds (Warped).
Cure Minor Wounds Cure Minor Wounds (Warped) As normal, but only affects creatures too young to be considered adults.
Cure Moderate Wounds Cure, Oderate Wounds Works as normal but the cured wound smells terrible, imposing a -6 on all social skill checks.
Cure Moderate Wounds, Mass Cure, Oderate Wounds, Mass As Cure, Oderate Wounds.
Cure Serious Wounds Cure Serrous Wounds Cures only wounds caused by ripping or tearing such as from Rend, claws, jagged knifes, or any weapon which does not give a clean cut.
Cure Serious Wounds, Mass Cure Serrous Wounds, Mass As Cure Serrous Wounds.
Curse Water Purse Water Fills all personal containers (such as bags of holding and sacks) with water.
Table: Warped Spells (D)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Dancing Lights Dancing Lights (Warped) All light sources animate and dance to the tune of music.
Darkness Dorkness Caster receives a -10 on all social skill checks & fumbles on a 1 or 2 from now on until curse is removed.
Darkvision Dark Vision Caster sees only darkness (and not because hood is down ;) )
Daylight Daylate As Daylight, but appears 24 hours after casting.
Daze Daisy A flower grows on the head of the target.
Daze Monster Daisy Monster As Daisy, but to non-humanoids as well.
Death Knell Death Kneel All subjects dying (-1 to -9) sit up and kneel. They stabilize automatically, but are still comatose.)
Death Ward Meth Ward Protects you from Meth-related dangers. Don't do drugs kids.
Deathwatch Death Watch Conjures a nice bone and undead flesh crafted watch on your wrist to tell time.
Deep Slumber Deep Lumber A pile of trees and logs fall down, target is injured and movement hampered.
Deeper Darkness Duper Darkness Make a Bluff check to convince all targets in the area there is a Darkness spell, when there is not. The effect is non-magical if you succeed.
Delay Poison Deli Poison Summon a tasty, but poisoned, sandwich. Poison is random.
Delayed Blast Fireball Delayed Blast Fireball (Warped) As normal, but delayed for 1d4 hours instead.
Demand De-manned A cruel spell which causes pain to male subjects, and may deal critical damage.
Desecrate Desu Crate A strange crate appears filled with cheap glasses with one red lens and one green lens.
Destruction Destraction Hey, what's that over there?!
Detect Animals or Plants Detect Animates or Pants Divines out animated objects and pants.
Detect Chaos Detect Kiosk Detect nearest Kiosk and what it is about.
Detect Evil Detect Devil Detects Devils in the area.
Detect Good Detect God Detects nearest deity.
Detect Law Detect Lawl Detect nearest laughter or source of humor.
Detect Magic Detest Magic For 1 round/level the caster becomes offended by magic and will refuse to cast spells or use magic items if possible.
Detect Poison Defect Poison All poisons within 30' of the caster turn into broken versions of themselves, dealing minimum damage and lasting only an minute. There is no second save.
Detect Scrying Detect Crying Divine when somebody is crying.
Detect Secret Doors Detect Secret Cores Illuminates weak spots on constructs and undead as 'flashing red points', permitting critical hits for 1 round/level. Shoot the core!
Detect Snares and Pits Detect Hairy Armpits Locates armpit hair and how much of it on targets in sight.
Detect Thoughts Eject Thoughts Thought bubbles of what the caster is thinking are constantly ejected out of their head for 1 minute/level. This can lead to embarrassment.
Detect Undead Detect Unclad Detects existence of naked creatures.
Dictum Victim The next attack, regardless of origin, ends up affecting the caster or the target instead with a 50% chance.
Dimension Door Detention Door As dimension door, but the caster is delayed for 1d4 rounds, caster complains they were sent to a school detention in some unknown plane.
Dimensional Anchor Dimensional News Anchor Summon an outsider from a random plane, who proceeds to tell you the current events and news of the outsider's home plane.
Dimensional Lock Dimensional Sock Summons a Ghost Touch Sap +(1d4) to attack with. It lasts for 24 hours before vanishing.
Diminish Plants Diminish Pants Cause target pants to shrink.
Discern Lies Discern Eyes Even in complete darkness, you can always see the eyes of others.
Discern Location Discern Rotation Able to tell what angle you're pointing relative to north.
Disguise Self Disguise Elf Disguises you as an elf, if you are not one. If you are, you are disguised as a Keebler Elf instead.
Disintegrate Dissin' Great Make an Intimidation check +20. The shaken effect lasts for 1 round/level.
Dismissal Missile Conjures a magic rocket which shoots at the target, dealing 1d6 fire and 1d6 sonic damage per caster level, up to 10d6 for each.
Dispel Chaos Expel Chaos All chaotic beings are pushed back 60'.
Dispel Evil Expel Evil All evil beings are pushed back 60'.
Dispel Good Expel Good All good beings are pushed back 60'.
Dispel Law Expel Law All lawful beings are pushed back 60'.
Dispel Magic Excel Magic For 1 round, all magic cast in 60' emanation from caster is at +1 caster level.
Dispel Magic, Greater Excel Magic, Greater For 1d4+1 rounds, all magic cast in 60' emanation from caster is at +1 caster level.
Displacement Displacement (Warped) Moves the caster to a random nearby location.
Disrupt Undead Disrupt Unclad As Disrupt Undead, but against naked creatures.
Disrupting Weapon Disruptive Weapon Weapon can now speak and often interrupts conversations with banal commentary.
Divination Divvy Nation A map appears with the local land divided between two factions marked on the map, such as conservative vs liberal areas or male and female population. The groups may or may not be related to your question.
Divine Favor Divine Flavor Apply an irresistible seasoning to something edible, causing the subject to want more.
Divine Power Divine Flour Conjures Divine Flour, used for making Divine Bread.
Dominate Animal Denominate Animal A title is given to the target animal. Whenever being spoken about it is addressed with title. "We must strike down the wild Mr. Owlbear!"
Dominate Monster Denominate Monster As Donominate Animal, but with any creature.
Dominate Person Denominate Person As with Denominate Animal, but only with humanoids.
Doom Boom The target is subject to an explosion on their head.
Dream Dream (Warped) You fall asleep and have a vivid, if useless, dream.

Warped Spells E-H[edit]

Table: Warped Spells (E)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Eagle’s Splendor Eagle Spender An eagle appears, takes 10% of your gold, leaves and returns with a bought random item worth 1000g or less.
Eagle’s Splendor, Mass Eagle Spender, Mass Same as Eagle Spender, but buys items for everyone targeted.
Earthquake Earthcake The ground becomes soft and moist, fall damage reduced by 10 ft. The ground is chocolate flavor.
Elemental Swarm Mental Swarm A swarm of tiny flying brains is summoned, treat as a Locust Swarm with the additional effect of stripping away the lowest level spell available on contact (and gaining 5 hp from it each time).
Endure Elements Enduring Elements The environment you cast this in persists effecting you for 24 hours, even if you move elsewhere, such as from a hot desert to a cold snowfield.
Energy Drain Energy Rain It rains down force energy in a cylinder shaped area.
Enervation Nervousin' Target becomes paranoid, taking a -2 on all rolls, but gaining a +2 dodge bonus.
Enlarge Person Engorge Person Target grows grotesquely fat, -4 Dex, -2 to attack, speed dropped in half, but +2 natural armor.
Enlarge Person, Mass Engorge Person, Mass As Engorge Person, but 5x current weight, -6 dex, +8 to attack, +5 natural armor.
Entangle Ent Angle All trents, ents, and other plant creatures are given a new angle. Prone of standing, standing if prone, no save.
Enthrall Ent Thrall As Dominate Monster on trents, ents, and other plant creatures, no save.
Entropic Shield Tropic Shield The temperature within 10 ft. of you is always 80 degrees and humid. It makes you resist cold effects by 50%, but you take double damage from Swarms and poison saves are at a -2 penalty.
Erase Erase (Warped) The spell erases itself from the caster's spell book if possible.
Ethereal Jaunt Ethereal Joint All your joints go ethereal, giving you a disturbing 'Rayman' set of floating limbs with no connection to your torso.
Etherealness Ether Realness Rather than go ethereal, any ethereal creatures in a 90 ft. area become corporeal.
Expeditious Retreat Expeditious Defeat You lose the will to fight, all attacks do minimum damage.
Explosive Runes Explosive Runs Target which reads the rune must make a Fort save or be nauseated for 1d4 rounds. A second Fort save is made to see if they also (ahem) embarrassed themselves right there.
Eyebite I Bite Gain a bite attack.
Table: Warped Spells (F)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Fabricate Fabricate (Warped) Able to make up a lie on the spot with a +30 to Bluff.
Faerie Fire Faerie Fire (Warped) Launches an angry pixie like an arrow at the enemy.
False Life False Wife Conjures a woman who claims to be your wife, but isn't.
False Vision False Vision (Warped) The colors seen by the caster go very wonky, becoming all sorts of different shades... red to blue, green to yellow, purple to green... you are stunned for one round as your mind tries to adjust. Lasts 24 hours.
Fear Hear Gain +10 to Listen checks for 5 rounds.
Feather Fall Feather Fall (Warped) Conjures feathers in mid-air which fall down slowly.
Feeblemind Beaglemind As Feeblemind, but also with uncontrollable barking. Prevents spellcasting with vocal components.
Find the Path Find the Bath Locate the nearest bathing area.
Find Traps Find Tarps Locate the nearest tarp.
Finger of Death Finger of Meth Save vs euphoric helplessness.
Fire Seeds Fire Seeds (Warped) Launches seeds at the enemy, dealing 1 point of damage.
Fire Shield Fire Healed The next fire attack which hits the target heals them instead of damaging them.
Fire Storm Fire Warm Looks like Fire Storm but deals no damage, actually quite comfortable. Melts ice and negates cold effects.
Fire Trap Fire Strap Summons a burning strip of leather, acting as a Flaming Sap +1. It lasts for 1 minute/level.
Fireball Fire Bale Instead of a ball of burning hell, appears a ball of burning hay.
Flame Arrow Lame Arrow Fires a tiny carrot shaped Flame Arrow which does 1 point of fire damage and pops with a cute noise.
Flame Blade Flame Braid As normal, but composed of flaming braided hair.
Flame Strike Flame Strike (Warped) For 24 hours no fire spells work for you, a fire elemental appears to inform you they're on strike.
Flaming Sphere Flaming Fear For 1 round/level cast must make a Will save every time he sees fire, DC 20, or be shaken out of fear for as long as the fire exists and 1 round later.
Flare Flair Your actions are breathtaking, giving +2 to Cha based skill checks.
Flesh to Stone Flesh to Bone Turns the subject into a skeleton powered by positive energy. They are considered a construct in this state until fixed and cannot be healed when damaged.
Fly Fly (Warped) Summons a housefly to annoy you for the spell duration.
Floating Disk Floating Desk As Floating Disk, but in desk format, solid, material, mundane (save levitating), and wooden.
Fog Cloud Frog Cloud A swarm of floating frogs obscures vision.
Forbiddance Forbid Dance All allies in area are prevented from dancing, immune to dancing spells.
Forcecage Force Cake The spell forces cake into the target's mouth, reducing his action tally to single move actions and making him lose his Dex bonus to AC.
Forceful Hand Force Full Hand Target's free hands are filled with random useless items, which are unable to be dropped.
Foresight Four Sight Gain 360 degree vision. Cannot be flanked.
Fox’s Cunning Rock's Cunning Gain -4 Int penalty.
Fox’s Cunning, Mass Rock's Cunning, Mass As Rock's Cunning
Freedom Free Dumb The spell works, but frees the body and soul, but not their mind, leaving them in a coma with an Int of 0.
Freedom of Movement Freedom of Movement (Warped) Nearest jailed political rabblerousers in 1 mile/caster level are freed.
Freezing Sphere Freezing Fear For 1 round/level cast must make a Will save every time he sees ice or extreme coldness, DC 20, or be shaken out of fear for as long as the source of cold exists and 1 round later.
Table: Warped Spells (G)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Gaseous Form Gassy Form The caster is host of unpleasant, embarrassing, and uncontrollable gas for the rest of the day.
Gate Gate (Warped) Creates non-magical wooden gate. Could actually be used on a wall.
Geas/Quest Geese Quest The Geas/Quest is always "gather 100 geese and bring them here".
Geas, Lesser Geese Quest, Lesser As Geese Quest, but only 50 geese.
Gentle Repose Gentle Repose (Warped) Gently poses the corpse into a new position.
Ghost Sound Ghost Hound Summons a noisy but harmless ghost dog, which besides bark, is invisible and leaves no mark of its existence.
Ghoul Touch Ghoul Torch Ignites an undead creature, causing 3d6 fire damage and a Reflex save to continue burning for 1d6 damage each round not saved. Does not work on the living.
Giant Vermin Giant Vermin (Warped) The spell works as normal, but the creatures continue to grow a size category a round, until they run out of space, or they grow past colossal. In either case, the creature collapses under its own weight and dies.
Glibness Gripness Grants you +30 to Climb checks, and you may take 10 in stressful situations.
Glitterdust Litterdust The ground is covered with various litter and trash, but no major effect beyond a messy floor.
Globe of Invulnerability Globe of Invulnerability (Warped) Conjures an globe of the world which is immune to level 4 spells or lesser.
Globe of Invulnerability, Lesser Globe of Invulnerability, Lesser (Warped) As Globe of Invulnerability (Warped), but only 3rd level or lower.
Glyph of Warding Glyph of Wadding The glyph, when triggered, fires a spitball at the target's face, with a BAB equal to caster level + spell level. No damage, just gross.
Glyph of Warding, Greater Glyph of Wadding, Greater As Glyph of Wadding, but this time it is a person-sized spitball from the heavens, which deals 20d6 nonlethal damage.
Goodberry Godberry Berry is treated as Awakened and given Divine rank 0, immediately vanished for Outer Planes and lost.
Good Hope Good Hop You suddenly jump straight up as if you rolled a 20 on a Jump check while running.
Grasping Hand Gasping Hand A mouth grows on the caster's hand. It has a random personality and gasps and wheezes a lot. It lasts for 24 hours.
Grease Crease Creases the clothing of all party members. No actual damage.
Guards and Wards Guards Are Ward Summons 2d4 guards who are Warriors, level 1d4. All, oddly, are named Ward.
Guidance Guide Dance Control the flow of a dance or, in balls, the next music played.
Gust of Wind Gust of Wine A torrent of wine of your choice comes barreling out, with the same effect as Gust of Wind, plus soaking the targets and they must make a Reflex save, DC 10, or ingest enough to become mildly intoxicated. -1 to all abilities.
Table: Warped Spells (H)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Hallow Hollow Empty the contents of a full container.
Hallucinatory Terrain Hallucinogenic Terrain All those who can see the landscape must save or be confused each round.
Halt Undead Hat Undead All undead in an area gain random and stylish hats, even incorporeal undead (as a Ghost Touch hat).
Harm Ham As Harm, but leaves the smell of meat and if slained by Ham, turns the target into a ham.
Haste Taste The subject becomes tastier. Creatures which bite the subject now favor that target for further biting.
Heal Teal Subject and subject's items turns teal-colored.
Heal, Mass Teal, Mass As Teal, but to several targets.
Heal Mount Heat Mount Not really useful, unless your mount is freezing to death...
Heat Metal Heal Metal Act as a healing spell which works on metal objects and constructs, repairing them.
Helping Hand Helping Hand (Warped) Force hand aids in mundane boring tasks, like chores, cleaning, or homework.
Heroes’ Feast Heroes' Fast As Heroes' Feast, but intensified. All get hungry and bonuses last until they eat or 24 hours, whatever is less.
Heroism Aneurysm Caster gets an aneurysm, making them dazed for one round. A Fort save is needed to avoid being sickened for 1d4 days in addition to the dazing.
Heroism, Greater Aneurysm, Greater As Aneurysm, but the Fort save is vs death. Even on a successful save you are sickened for 1d4 days.
Hide from Animals Hide from Animals (Warped) Conjure the prepared skin of a random animal.
Hide from Undead Hide from Undead (Warped) Conjure the prepared skin of a random undead (eww).
Hideous Laughter Hideous Slaughter Save vs laugh yourself to death, 3d6 on a save from sides splitting open.
Hold Animal Hold Animal (Warped) Teleports target animal into your arms.
Hold Monster Hold Monster (Warped) Teleports target monster into your arms.
Hold Monster, Mass Hold Monster, Mass (Warped) Teleports all target monsters into your arms. You're likely crushed and pinned.
Hold Person Hold Person (Warped) Teleports target person into your arms.
Hold Person, Mass Hold Person, Mass (Warped) Teleports all target people into your arms. You're likely crushed and pinned.
Holy Aura Holly Aura Festive illusionary holly leaves and sparkles orbit around the target, which look real pretty but don't do anything.
Holy Smite Holy Smile Target struck cannot stop smiling for 1 round/level. They have difficulty casting spells with vocal components from smiling and suffer 20% spell failure.
Holy Sword Holey Sword Gains Holy Sword but holes open in it, halving the weapon's hp for the duration.
Holy Word Holy Word (Warped) A holy word such as "Amen" appears as printed text over your head for a round, complete with AIM 'ding' noise. No other effect.
Horrid Wilting Horrid Kilting All targets are wearing kilts, save vs humiliation (as fear). If the save fails another save vs die from embarrassment.
Hypnotic Pattern Hypnotic Patina As normal, but the creatures are fascinated by watching one of your metal objects slowly rust. At the end of the spell said metal item in your possession halves its hp and gains a -2 to attack and damage if a weapon, or a -1 Dex and +1 AC penalty if armor. Other item damages may vary.
Hypnotism Dipnoidism Makes caster dipnoid (possessing both lungs and gills).

Warped Spells I-L[edit]

Table: Warped Spells (I)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Ice Storm Eyes Storm A gruesome rain of eyes, dealing 3d6 negative and save vs nausea.
Identify Dentify Damages the target item by half its hp, causing dents to cover its surface and chunks deformed and chipped.
Illusory Script Illusory Ripped Illusion makes the page look shredded and worn, barely held together. The text is largely unreadable, adding +20 to the DC to decipher it.
Illusory Wall Illusory Hall Just like ACME, forms a hall or passage on a wall which isn't really there.
Imbue with Spell-Like Ability Imbue With Spelling Ability Target immune to Misspell, +5 bonus to Truename Magic.
Implosion Wimplosion As Implosion but a weaksauce version, with a save vs mild discomfort instead of death, causing you to be dazed for 1 round.
Imprisonment Imprison Men Acts as imprisonment, but only works on male targets.
Incendiary Cloud Incendiary Clown'd Summons a burning clown who runs around a 20 ft. area laughing and screaming, forcing Reflex saves or be set on fire.
Inflict Critical Wounds Predict Critical Wounds Roll 4d8 +1 point per caster level (maximum +20) as normal, but the character may choose to avoid another source of damage equal or lesser to the result of this spell. This spell does not deal damage, it actually ends up protecting against it.
Inflict Critical Wounds, Mass Predict Critical Wounds, Mass As Predict Critical Wounds.
Inflict Light Wounds Predict Light Wounds As Predict Critical Wounds, but 1d8 +1 (maximum +5).
Inflict Light Wounds, Mass Predict Light Wounds, Mass As Predict Light Wounds.
Inflict Minor Wounds Predict Minor Wounds As Predict Critical Wounds, but only 1 point of damage protected against.
Inflict Moderate Wounds Predict Moderate Wounds As Predict Critical Wounds, but 2d8 +1 (maximum +10).
Inflict Moderate Wounds, Mass Predict Moderate Wounds, Mass As Predict Moderate Wounds.
Inflict Serious Wounds Predict Serious Wounds As Predict Critical Wounds, but 3d8 +1 (maximum +15).
Inflict Serious Wounds, Mass Predict Serious Wounds, Mass As Predict Serious Wounds.
Insanity Sanity Target becomes immune to confusion and insanity, dispels confusion and insanity (and vice versa).
Insect Plague Insect Vague As normal, but the spell is an Illusion (Shadow) spell which allows a Will save (which negates). If not negated the bugs are treated as having Blur cast on them.
Instant Summons Instant Simmons Summons a health instructor, if you work out with him for 1 hour you gain +4 Str, Dex, and Con for 24 hours.
Interposing Hand Posing Hand Hand attempts to grapple target, forcing them into odd poses. Target is considered pinned, but caster must use a move action to maintain the pin (directing them into a new pose).
Invisibility Indivisibility Target and target's items cannot be vorpaled or sundered until you attack.
Invisibility, Greater Indivisibility, Greater As Indivisibility, but regardless if you attack.
Invisibility, Mass Indivisibility, Mass As Indivisibility, but to several.
Invisibility Purge Indivisibility Purge Anything immune to sundering or vorpal now are vulnerable.
Invisibility Sphere Indivisibility Sphere As Indivisibility, but in a spherical zone.
Iron Body Iron Body (Warped) Take 2d6 damage from steam, but all clothes are clean and pressed.
Ironwood Iron Wood Removes wrinkles from wood with steaming magic iron.
Irresistible Dance Irresistible Dense Target gains DR 10/adamantine, weight increases by x4, and they are limited to 5 ft. movements, and are considered Slowed.
Table: Warped Spells (J)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Jump Jump (Warped) Pass a Will save or be shaken for one round.
Table: Warped Spells (K)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Keen Edge Clean Edge Your weapon is never dirty.
Knock Knock (Warped) All doors in 100 ft. of the caster are knocked upon.
Know Direction No Direction You immediately forget which way is north, curse lasts for 24 hours. Countered by Know Direction.
Table: Warped Spells (L)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Legend Lore Legend Lure Start up a false local legend as gossip in the area.
Levitate Level Eight You rise or fall to level 8, adding positive levels or negative levels as needed.
Light Light (Warped) Enchanted item or subject weights half as much for the duration.
Lightning Bolt Lightening Bolt Those struck by the bolt are a shade lighter in color.
Limited Wish Limited Fish As Limited Wish, but all wishes are fish related and corrupt.
Liveoak Livecloak Gives sentience and animation to any cloak you are wearing. It continues to give any benefits, but is free willed. DM's, have fun choosing the personality of the new intelligent item.
Locate Creature Locate Creature (Warped) Locates the next nearest living creature.
Locate Object Locate Reject Locate the nearest failure of a person, from the town fool to the drunken bum outside the tavern.
Longstrider Longslider As Longstrider, but all movement is done by sliding around unnaturally.
Lullaby Lure A Buy Target succumbs to a temptation to go shopping right now, as per a Suggestion spell.

Warped Spells M-P[edit]

Table: Warped Spells (M)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Mage Armor Mage's Amor Spellcasters of the opposite sex find you attractive, acts as Charm Monster for any interacting with you.
Mage Hand Mage Hand (Warped) Summons the hand of another mage for the duration of the spell. (then it is safely returned to its owner)
Mage’s Disjunction Mage's Conjunction Those in area effected as if hit by quick-setting sovereign glue.
Mage’s Faithful Hound Mage's Faithless Hound As Faithful Hound, until it gets within 5 ft., at which point it whimpers, turns, and flees as far as it can.
Mage’s Lucubration Mage's Lubrication Body is Greased and unable to be grappled, but it's hard to walk, DC 10 Balance check when moving.
Mage’s Magnificent Mansion Mage's Magnificent Man Summons "the perfect man". Woman will adore him, men will be envious. Lasts for 1 hour.
Mage’s Private Sanctum Mage's Private Snack'um Summons some delicious snacks, which mysteriously no one spots you eating them.
Mage’s Sword Mage's Word Assign a word. For the 1 min./level anyone who speaks that word takes 3d6 nonlethal, no save.
Magic Aura Magic Aurora At nighttime the Northern Lights will appear.
Magic Circle against Chaos Magic Circle Condensed Chaos Spell has opposite effect, applying bonuses to enemies and penalties to you where applicable.
Magic Circle against Evil Magic Circle Condensed Evil Spell has opposite effect, applying bonuses to enemies and penalties to you where applicable.
Magic Circle against Good Magic Circle Condensed Good Spell has opposite effect, applying bonuses to enemies and penalties to you where applicable.
Magic Circle against Law Magic Circle Condensed Law Spell has opposite effect, applying bonuses to enemies and penalties to you where applicable.
Magic Fang Magic Fan Generate a Moderate Wind (11-20 mph) in a 60 ft cone from you for the spell duration.
Magic Fang, Greater Magic Fan, Greater As Magic Fan, but Severe Wind (31-50 mph).
Magic Jar Magic Jar (Warped) Enchants a jar as if it were target for Greater Magic Weapon, jar gains 100 hp.
Magic Missile Maggot Missile As magic missile, but 1d3+1 damage and save vs sickened.
Magic Mouth Magic Moth Summons a moth with a taste for magical clothes, otherwise harmless.
Magic Stone Magic Stoned Caster is in a drugged stupor, -2 Str, Dex, Con, Int but +4 Wis.
Magic Vestment Magic Investment Sacrifice between 100 to 1000 gold, then roll d%. 1-40 is up to 40% percent loss, 41-100 is up to 60% percent gained. You may wait and roll every day to see if it grows.
Magic Weapon Magic Apron Summons a magic apron which grants the spell bonus on Craft (Cooking) checks.
Magic Weapon, Greater Magic Apron, Greater As Magic Apron, with greater bonuses as Greater Magic Weapon usually has.
Major Creation Major Cremation Your item appears and immediately bursts into flames, even if it can't burn, dealing 3d6 fire to those who touch it. It burns to ash in 1 round.
Major Image Major Age Subject appears to age 2d10 years. Will save or take the appropriate penalties and bonuses.
Make Whole Make Hole Punches a round hole in the target.
Mark of Justice Mark of Just Ice Glyph made of mundane ice appears on target, no other effect.
Maze Maize Target is beaten with ears of corn, 1d6 per caster level (max 20d6).
Meld into Stone Mold into Stone Turn into a surface covering fungus when attempting to enter stone.
Mending Ending Acts as Dispel Magic against effects with durations.
Message Massage Useless but very comfortable for you.
Meteor Swarm Meatier Swarm As Meteor Swarm, but with meat. Damage die is one less but Grease effect is applied.
Mind Blank Mind Blank (Warped) As normal, but you constantly forget what you were doing for the duration.
Mind Fog Mind Frog Constant ribbit noises in the heads of those in the area force concentration checks.
Minor Creation Miner Creation Summons a dwarven miner who will dig for you.
Minor Image Miner Image An illusionary dwarven miner appears, hard at work.
Miracle Miracle (Warped) The next time someone says 'we'd need a miracle' or similar phrase, an invincible white horse, with invincible chariot if required, named Miracle appears to help you escape or move to a more favorable position. Treat as a Phantom Steed, maximum power.
Mirage Arcana Rage Arcana All arcane casters, ally or enemy, in 100 ft. go into a barbarian rage, no save.
Mirror Image Mirror Image (Warped) Conjures an illusionary mirror.
Misdirection Miss Direction Randomly roll to see which direction you head when you try to move.
Mislead Misread Character must succeed on a DC 30 Int check whenever they attempt to read, otherwise they misread it. Treat as a curse.
Mnemonic Enhancer Mnemonic Enchanter As Mnemonic Enhancer, but only with Enchantment spells.
Modify Memory Moldify Memory Certain memories targeted become difficult to remember, requiring a DC 20 Wisdom check to recall. You cannot take 20.
Moment of Prescience Moment of Science You may gain a +25 bonus on the next task which requires a knowledge check or operating a device like a trap. Does not work with other rolls.
Mount Mound The earth rises under the caster, making a mound.
Move Earth Mauve Earth Targeted earth turns mauve colored.
Mummify Mommify The target becomes pregnant. This is identical to usual impregnation and lasts for the duration of their races gestation period. When cast on a male it has no effect.
Table: Warped Spells (N)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Neutralize Poison Neutrality Poison As the spell Poison, but only works on neutral alignments (TN, NG, NE, CN, and LN).
Nightmare Nightmare (Warped) Caster falls asleep and has a nightmare
Nondetection Nundetection Detect any female clerics or nuns within 1 mile.
Table: Warped Spells (O)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Obscure Object Obscure Object (Warped) Creates a 1-pound item of indiscernible purpose.
Obscuring Mist Curing Mist Those inside the mist heal 1d8 points of damage a round.
Open/Close Open, Close Works as normal, but reverts 1 second later.
Order’s Wrath Oder's Wrath Release a terrible smell like Stinking Cloud.
Overland Flight Overland Light The sky for 1 mile around the caster is illuminated and glowing neon bright, as a Daylight spell.
Owl’s Wisdom Owlbear's Wisdom Your Wisdom score changes to 12, as an Owlbear's.
Owl’s Wisdom, Mass Owlbear's Wisdom, Mass As Owlbear's Wisdom.
Table: Warped Spells (P)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Passwall Glasswall Turns the target wall into a glass version, in the area where the spell would normally go off.
Pass without Trace Pass Without Face A transparent barrier is set up. Those passing through it lose their face, which does not prevent seeing or eating but is deeply unsettling, and must be removed as a curse.
Permanency Terminancy A construct (treat as a random Inevitable) comes hunting down one of your party members in an attempt to kill them. It constantly refers to the unlucky target as "Sarah Conner".
Permanent Image Permanent Mage Makes a mage which has been summoned or created, such as through Arcane Mark (Warped) to be permanent.
Persistent Image Persistent Mage Calls an annoying mage cohort, whose competence and abilities are called into question. He tries to 'help' constantly with his magic, but usually does more damage. If killed another takes his place at the next nearest opportunity. Considered a curse and can be treated as such.
Phantasmal Killer Phantasmal Kilter Target gains a kilt if they fail both saves, and they are under the effects of Confusion, as well as taking 3d6 sonic damage from the spontaneous sound of bagpipes. Those making the Fort save only incur the bagpipe damage.
Phantom Steed Phantom Steel Summon an illusory item made of steel. It can be used as normal if the target interacting with it fails their Will save.
Phantom Trap Phantom Tarp Forms an illusory tarp used to cover ot protect things with.
Phase Door Haze Door A hazy ghostly door appears, but leads nowhere.
Planar Ally Plainer Ally One allied character of no more than 12 Hit Dice takes -4 Charisma as they become less good-looking.
Planar Ally, Greater Plainer Ally, Greater As Plainer Ally, but up to 18 HD.
Planar Ally, Lesser Plainer Ally, Lesser As Plainer Ally, but up to 6 HD.
Planar Binding Planar Bidding As Planar Bidding, Lesser, but up to 88,000g value.
Planar Binding, Greater Planar Bidding, Greater As Planar Bidding, but up to 440,000g value.
Planar Binding, Lesser Planar Bidding, Lesser The called being and an extraplanar auctioneer appears. You may engage in a bidding war with the outsider to obtain the item. Item value up to 13,000g value.
Plane Shift Plain Shift Caster is send to the nearest plain.
Plant Growth Pant Growth Target pants enlarge for someone of the next size category, likely fall down.
Poison Posin' The target must strike a flashy pose as a standard or full round action, doing nothing but poses for 1d10 rounds. They may still move, but that is all.
Polar Ray Solar Ray A ray of light comes out of the caster's finger. Affects like daylight.
Polymorph Polemorph Transform into a pole which cannot move or act, hardness 20 with hp and size the same as target.
Polymorph Any Object Polemorph Any Object As Polemorph, but can be applied to anything Polymorph Any Object allows. Variations on material and hardness can also be applied.
Power Word Blind Power Word Bland All actions by the target take the average, taking 10 on attack rolls and skill checks and doing average damage.
Power Word Kill Power Word Kilt Target under 100 hp gains a kilt, causing them to cower in embarrassment, no save.
Power Word Stun Power Word Sun Target gets a suntan, those weak to light are effected as if exposed to bright daylight. Tan lasts for 2d4 days.
Prayer Player Summons a confused avatar of the PC's player, which vanishes 1d4 rounds later.
Prestidigitation Presto! Digitation! Applies a ditigal readout of the current time on the target.
Prismatic Sphere Prismatic Sphere (Warped) Creates a useless floating sphere, glowing in all the colors of the rainbow.
Prismatic Spray Prism Spray A cone of prisms is fired, dealing 1d6 slashing/bludgeoning damage per caster level, max 20d6. Leaves prism caltrops in the area afterwards.
Prismatic Wall Prism Wall A wall of glittering rainbow prisms glued together appears, treat as Wall of Stone. When broken, it releases prism caltrops in the area afterward.
Produce Flame Produce Flame All edible plant matter catches on fire in 90 ft. area around caster.
Programmed Image Programmed Mage A robot mage appears who will perform one specific task for you taking no longer than 24 hours to complete. Your instructions must be exact and to the letter. The mage has the general appearance and spells of the caster, including any spells they have memorized, and has identical stats, but half the hp, Construct type, and no Con score.
Project Image Project Mage All spellcasters must make Will saves or be thrust away from the caster 1d8x10 feet.
Protection from Arrows Projection of Arrows Creates a longbow +1 which fires every round at your direction, but is an Illusion (Shadow) spell, Will negates.
Protection from Chaos Reflection of Chaos Any spells with the chaos subtype are reflected back at the caster.
Protection from Energy Reflection of Energy Any spells with the appropriate elemental subtype chosen are reflected back at the caster.
Protection from Evil Reflection of Evil Any spells with the evil subtype are reflected back at the caster.
Protection from Good Reflection of Good Any spells with the good subtype are reflected back at the caster.
Protection from Law Reflection of Law Any spells with the law subtype are reflected back at the caster.
Protection from Spells Protection from Spills The next time you spill something it will prevent it, keeping the contents in. Permanent until discharged.
Prying Eyes Crying Eyes Your eyes water for 1 round/level. -2 on attack rolls.
Prying Eyes, Greater Crying Eyes, Greater As Crying Eyes, but to everyone in a 60 ft. emanation to the caster.
Purify Food and Drink Pureefy Food and Drink Food and drink are abruptly placed inside a magical container and blended into a smoothie. Drink up!
Pyrotechnics Gyrotechnics You can cause a person or object in motion to change motion in their next round, a Balance check vs spell DC is needed to avoid moving as desired.

Warped Spells Q-T[edit]

Table: Warped Spells (Q)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Quench Quench (Warped) You are no longer thirsty.
Table: Warped Spells (R)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Rage Wage Make a Profession check and gain your score x10 in gold.
Rainbow Pattern Rainbow Pattern (Warped) Clothing becomes rainbow colored, stayed until dispelled.
Raise Dead Raise Dead (Warped) Levitates corpse 5 ft. over the ground.
Ray of Enfeeblement Ray of Weeblement Target automatically succeeds on Balance checks and can never fall prone, even standing after death. However they rock constantly, requiring a Dex check DC 20 or not act that round. After all, weebles wobble but they don't fall down.
Ray of Exhaustion Ray of Exhaust Attack causes choking and suffocation, as if in thick smoke.
Ray of Frost Ray of 'Fros Target gains an afro, no save.
Read Magic Red Magic For the next 24 hours, all magical effects are red colored.
Reduce Animal Re-Deuce Animal Makes a duplicate of the target animal which stays around for 1d4+1 rounds.
Reduce Person Re-Deuce Person As Re-Deuce Animal, but applies to humanoids only.
Reduce Person, Mass Re-Deuce Person, Mass As Re-Deuce Person.
Refuge Refuse Generates trash and litter, 1 inch high in area.
Regenerate Degenerate Target is inflicted with wounds opposite of regenerate, with fatigue (or exhaustion if already fatigued) being applied. If used to reattach limbs, instead one random other limb falls off.
Reincarnate Re-Incinerate The next fire spell which effects the target occurs to them again one round later.
Remove Blindness/Deafness Move Blindness/Deafness Target is cured but the Blindness/Deafness moves to the next nearest person, likely the caster, with no save.
Remove Curse Remove Cures Negate the healing obtained by the last healing spell.
Remove Disease Move Disease Target is cured but the Disease moves to the next nearest person, likely the caster, with no save.
Remove Fear Remove Fair Causes any fair to disperse as nearest available opportunity.
Remove Paralysis Move Paralysis Target is cured but the Paralysis moves to the next nearest person, likely the caster, with no save.
Repel Metal or Stone Pastel Metal or Stone Turns all target stone or metal into colorful easter pastel color tones.
Repel Vermin Pastel Vermin Turns all target vermin into colorful easter pastel color tones.
Repel Wood Pastel Wood Turns all target wood into colorful easter pastel color tones.
Repulsion Repulsive Cha score drops to one, target is so ugly those who see it must save vs Fear, DC 20.
Resilient Sphere Resilient Ear Your ears become as indestructible as a Wall of Force.
Resistance Insistence Target becomes unusually bold. At next nearest opportunity they try to take the spotlight in an activity no matter how frightened or incompetent they may be at it.
Resist Energy Assist Energy You take +10 more elemental damage when stuck with the chosen elemental type for Resist Energy.
Restoration Rest Ration The next time you eat a meal you are treated as having rested for 8 hours.
Restoration, Greater Rest Ration, Greater As Rest Ration, plus you are able to refresh any spells as if you meditated/studied/prayed for the day.
Restoration, Lesser Rest Ration, Lesser As Rest Ration, but does not restore hp, only removing exhaustion and fatigue.
Resurrection Risurrection Subject revived as a common squirrel. Racial traits are Fine size with -10 Str, +8 Dex. Former weapons will not fit, and this form can only be removed by Limited Wish, Wish, Miracle, or killing the subject and reincarnating them. However, you may Speak With Animals (Rodents) at will.
Reverse Gravity Reverse Cavity Any depressions or bowls in the spell range become temporary mountains and bumps of inverted size. Also fixes tooth decay.
Righteous Might Write Us Might Written in glowing letters appears the words "Us Might", treat as an Arcane Mark.
Rope Trick Rope Track Divine where this rope has been.
Rusting Grasp Roasting Grasp All meat touched by the caster is roasted and flavored to perfection.
Table: Warped Spells (S)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Sanctuary Scant Airy The air pressure drops in a 60' area around caster for 1d4 minutes. Treat as suffocating, although death is not possible, only passing out from nonlethal damage.
Scare Care Target becomes concerned of your well being, treat as charmed.
Scintillating Pattern Chinchillating Pattern As normal but all those effected appear to be giant chinchillas. No other effect.
Scorching Ray Scorched Ray A smoking burned manta ray appears. It's gross, but harmless.
Screen Screen (Warped) Summons a changing room screen for 1 hour.
Scrying Crying Caster begins to cry for no reason.
Scrying, Greater Crying, Greater As Crying, but harder to control and lasts until curse is removed.
Sculpt Sound Scalped Sound The painful noise of a scalping is heard.
Searing Light Searing Blight Only works against plants, which take 1d8 per caster level, max 10d8.
Secret Chest Secret Chess Summon and dismiss a chess board to and from the Astral Plane.
Secret Page Secret Age A commonly used female spell, you look a different age than what people assume you are.
Secure Shelter Cure Shelter As normal, but everyone benefits from a Cure Light Wounds spell once when entering.
See Invisibility Seam Invisibility Target can no longer see seams of any kind.
Seeming Steaming All targets begin to harmlessly steam off their bodies for the spell duration.
Sending Ending The target receives a vision of a random 'ending' to the campaign story. "And so the hero saved the princess and all was well until a meteor came and eeeeveryone died. The End."
Sepia Snake Sigil Sepia Snake Siggy Whenever signing your name, it always appears with a stamp of a brown snake underneath as your signature. Permanent until dispelled.
Sequester See Quester Identify anybody in range under the effect of Geas/Quest.
Shades Shades (Warped) Conjure a pair of shades, immune to gaze attacks, blinding from light, and gain +4 Cha.
Shadow Conjuration Shallow Conjuration Summons a blonde. :D
Shadow Conjuration, Greater Shallow Conjuration, Greater Summons 2d4 blondes. :D
Shadow Evocation Shadow Vocation You get an illusionary job, make a Will save. If you fail make a profession check as normal.
Shadow Evocation, Greater Shadow Vocation, Greater As Shadow Vocation, but the gold received if you fail your Will save is x10.
Shadow Walk Shadow Talk Speak to Shadows. They'll understand but can't speak back.
Shambler Shamble Caster walks around shuffling their feet. Move at half speed for 1 round/level.
Shapechange Ape Change You transform but only into the shapes of primates.
Shatter Hatter Create a mundane hat of your choosing on your head.
Shield Shed Conjures a small hut around you, providing concealment and blocking line of sight. There is a door, but it is only 1 inch thick, 10 hp, with hardness 5.
Shield of Faith Shield of Fate Gain 1 luck re-roll as per the Luck Domain power.
Shield of Law Shield of Lawl Creatures who strike you must make a save as if they were struck by a casting of Tasha's Hideous Laughter. Can only be effected once every 24 hours.
Shield Other Shield Mother Your mother, if alive, is effected by Shield Other, regardless of distance or plane.
Shillelagh Silly Laugh Caster effected as if Hideous Laughter cast upon them.
Shocking Grasp Shocking Gasp GASP! Those who hear you may be startled and lose their actions for that round.
Shout Shout (Warped) Summons a bottle of detergent. It's very good at cleaning clothes, enough for 1d4 cleanings.
Shout, Greater Shout, Greater (Warped) As Shout, but the Jumbo Family size lasts you for a long time, lasting for 2d4 cleanings.
Shrink Item Shrink Item (Warped) The item becomes sentient with the spirit of a shrink, who immediately tries to psychoanalysis you. Permanent until dispelled.
Silence Sai Lance Summons a bizarre lance that gives +2 on disarm checks for 1 minute/caster level.
Silent Image Silent Mage The caster is afflicted with a Silence spell centered only on him and no others, at his caster level.
Simulacrum Similarcrumb As normal, but made of bread crumbs. Birds can sense the bread crumbs and may eat your copy.
Slay Living Say Living Target says the word "Living" if able.
Sleep Sheep Summons a Sleep Sheep.
Sleet Storm 1337 Storm As normal but snow is replaced by weird magic glyphs like 'lol' and '1 r teh h@x0rz'.
Slow Sow Transforms the target into a pig, as per Baleful Polymorph.
Snare Nair Removes all of caster's hair permanently. Regeneration, Lesser Wish, Miracle, or Wish may restore the lost hair.
Soften Earth and Stone Sofa Earth and Stone Turns target earth and stone into a sofa.
Solid Fog Solid Frog Summons a Large frog made of adamantine, treat as Animated Object.
Song of Discord Song of Disco Disco music plays, all are effected by Irresistible Dance, even the caster.
Soul Bind Sole Bind Caster's feet are stuck to the ground, movement of 0 ft for 1 round/every 2 levels.
Sound Burst Sound Wurst Summons a bratwurst which is constantly making noise. If used as a weapon, it acts as a Sonic Thundering Club +1, dealing 1d6 bludgeoning + 1d6 sonic damage (with Thundering effect on criticals). It only deals all nonlethal damage though.
Speak with Animals Speak with Animals (Warped) As per the spell, but they cannot speak back, they can only understand you.
Speak with Dead Speak with Dad Telepathically speak with your father, if living, anywhere on the same plane.
Speak with Plants Speak with Pants As Speak with Plants, but with Pants.
Spectral Hand Spectrum Hand Rainbow flashing ghost hand, which acts as casting of Prismatic Spray on touch. Lasts for 1d4 rounds.
Spell Immunity Smell Immunity Unable to smell, or be effected by oder or smoke.
Spell Immunity, Greater Smell Immunity, Greater As Smell Immunity, but to all allies in 90 ft.
Spell Resistance Smell Resistance Gain a +10 enchantment bonus to resist smell-based effects and smoke.
Spellstaff Sellstaff A ghostly merchant appears, who tries to convince you to sell any staffs you own to him.
Spell Turning Spell Tuning All musical instruments in 30 ft. emanation from you are tuned or out of tune at your desire.
Spider Climb Spider Limb Grow 4 spider legs from your back, giving +8 to Climb and Grapple checks. Immune to Web.
Spike Growth Pike Growth Any polearms in caster's possession grows one size category. Can be used without penalty, lasts for 1 hour/level.
Spike Stones Spike Bones Undead targets in the spell area gain the equivalent of Armor Spikes. Living targets must make a Fortitude save or be wracked with pain as their bones become spiked, taking 3d6 damage and leaving them stunned for 1d4 rounds.
Spiritual Weapon Spiritual Apron Summons a ghostly apron which provides a +3 to Craft (cooking) checks and treats the caster's current armor, if any, as Ghost Touch armor.
Statue Statue (Warped) Conjures a life-size statue of caster made of stone.
Status Stat Us Strange papers appear to all allies, with their names and weird numbers. What is a 'character sheet' and why are we on it?
Stinking Cloud Stinking Loud As normal but the spell manifest from the caster with a very loud noise from the caster's bottom, and the cloud focused with them at the center.
Stone Shape Tone Shape Your body is physically fit, gain the Endurance feat and never grow exhausted for 1 week.
Stoneskin Stoneskin (Warped) As Stoneskin, but effectively petrified as rocky skin is solid and immobile.
Stone Tell Stone Till Turn target stone into freshly turned, farm-worthy soil.
Stone to Flesh Bone to Flesh Against skeletal undead, turns them into zombies. Against the living, their body loses form and they collapse, with a Dex of 0, and helpless until cured.
Storm of Vengeance Store of Vengeance Summons a store kiosk, who is willing to sell you a variety of revenge-worthy weapons, poisons, and other items.
Suggestion Suggest Shun Subject becomes immune to Suggestion spells for 24 hours.
Suggestion, Mass Suggest Shun, Mass As Suggest Shun.
Summon Instrument Someone's Instrument As normal but the instrument belongs to someone. It has a 20% chance that the angry owner has the means to track you down to take it back.
Summon Monster I Summon Mobster I Summons a level 2 Warrior human with a 'tommygun' which does 1d6 damage, 20/x3 crit, and acts as a heavy crossbow otherwise.
Summon Monster II Summon Mobster II Summons a level 4 Warrior human with a 'tommygun' which does 2d6 damage, 20/x3 crit, and acts as a heavy crossbow otherwise.
Summon Monster III Summon Mobster III Summons a level 6 Warrior human with a 'tommygun' which does 3d6 damage, 20/x3 crit, and acts as a heavy crossbow otherwise.
Summon Monster IV Summon Mobster IV Summons a level 8 Warrior human with a 'tommygun' which does 4d6 damage, 20/x3 crit, and acts as a heavy crossbow otherwise.
Summon Monster V Summon Mobster V Summons a level 10 Warrior human with a 'tommygun' which does 5d6 damage, 20/x3 crit, and acts as a heavy crossbow otherwise.
Summon Monster VI Summon Mobster VI Summons a level 12 Warrior human with a 'tommygun' which does 6d6 damage, 20/x3 crit, and acts as a heavy crossbow otherwise.
Summon Monster VII Summon Mobster VII Summons a level 14 Warrior human with a 'tommygun' which does 7d6 damage, 20/x3 crit, and acts as a heavy crossbow otherwise.
Summon Monster VIII Summon Mobster VIII Summons a level 16 Warrior human with a 'tommygun' which does 8d6 damage, 20/x3 crit, and acts as a heavy crossbow otherwise.
Summon Monster IX Summon Mobster IX Summons a level 18 Warrior human with a 'tommygun' which does 9d6 damage, 20/x3 crit, and acts as a heavy crossbow otherwise.
Summon Nature’s Ally I Summon Natural I No summon appears, instead your next roll is guaranteed to be a 1.
Summon Nature’s Ally II Summon Natural II No summon appears, instead your next roll is guaranteed to be a 2.
Summon Nature’s Ally III Summon Natural III No summon appears, instead your next roll is guaranteed to be a 3.
Summon Nature’s Ally IV Summon Natural IV No summon appears, instead your next roll is guaranteed to be a 4.
Summon Nature’s Ally V Summon Natural V No summon appears, instead your next roll is guaranteed to be a 5.
Summon Nature’s Ally VI Summon Natural VI No summon appears, instead your next roll is guaranteed to be a 6.
Summon Nature’s Ally VII Summon Natural VII No summon appears, instead your next roll is guaranteed to be a 7.
Summon Nature’s Ally VIII Summon Natural VIII No summon appears, instead your next roll is guaranteed to be a 8.
Summon Nature’s Ally IX Summon Natural IX No summon appears, instead your next roll is guaranteed to be a 9.
Summon Swarm Summon Warm Summons a 'Warm Elemental' who is not very useful for offense.
Sunbeam Some Bean Conjures some beans which are delicious, and can feed you for 1 day. May cause gas later.
Sunburst Sunburst (Warped) Everyone in Long Range to the caster makes a Will save, or believes the sun abruptly goes POP and vanishes, plunging the land into darkness and cold. And illusion spell.
Symbol of Death Symbol of Meth As normal, but save vs euphoric helplessness instead of save vs die.
Symbol of Fear Symbol of Ear Looks like a glyph of an ear. Everyone gets +10 to Listen checks in the area.
Symbol of Insanity Symbol of Sanity As Symbol of Insanity with opposite effect, clearing up Confusion and Insanity.
Symbol of Pain Symbol of Pane Subject trapped as by Forcecage, but the cage is glass and can be shattered as normal.
Symbol of Persuasion Symbol of Dissuasion A symbol that dissuades viewers from approaching it, completely counteracting its intended purpose.
Symbol of Sleep Symbol of Slope Changes the ground orientation of the plane by 20 degrees, making him have to walk upwards no matter what side the caster faces.
Symbol of Stunning Symbol of Sunning Targets act as if effected by Sunburst, and gain a great tan.
Symbol of Weakness Symbol of Weekends Targets are convinced it is the weekend, regardless of the day.
Sympathetic Vibration Some Pathetic Vibration As normal, but minimum damage.
Sympathy Symphony Caster can discern the location of and distance to the nearest symphony. Caster also discerns the number of people in attendance and what is currently being played.
Table: Warped Spells (T)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Telekinesis Telephone Sis A strange device called a 'telephone' appears in your hands. It rings, allowing you to speak with your sister, or someone claiming to be her if you lack one. Conversation is as normal, though your actual sister will never recall this 'telephone' or your conversation.
Telekinetic Sphere Telekinetic Fear For 1 round/level cast must make a Will save every time he sees things moving about magically, DC 20, or be shaken out of fear for as long as the animation exists and 1 round later.
Telepathic Bond Telepathic Blonde As Telepathic Bond, but all those effected become blonde, or grow blonde hair.
Teleport Telepot As teleport, but you only appear in large kettles, jars, and other such items.
Teleport Object Teleport Objection Caster cannot be teleported by any means, and prevents teleporting within 30 ft. of caster.
Teleport, Greater Telepot As Telepot with less error.
Teleportation Circle Teleportation Sure-Kill The teleport pad leads somewhere undeniably dangerous like into a volcano.
Temporal Stasis Temporary Stasis As normal, but only 1 round/level instead.
Time Stop Time Spot Able to identify any warps in time. Time Stop still stops you but you are aware of the stopped time.
Tiny Hut Tiny Mutt Summons a Tiny sized friendly dog for the spell duration.
Tongues Tongs Conjure magical tongs made of force.
Touch of Fatigue Touch of Fatty The target bloats, granting them +1 natural armor but cutting their speed in half and giving -4 to their Dex score.
Touch of Idiocy Torch of Idiocy If the target has a lower Int score than you, they burst into flames and take 1d6 damage (and an additional 1d6 per round if failing a Reflex save). If you are the lesser Int you burst into flames instead.
Transformation Transportation Summons a random form of transportation, such as a carriage, complete with driver willing to take you to a location. For some reason it is yellow and says "Taxi", with a metal plate in back that says "FRESH".
Transmute Metal to Wood Transmute Mental to Food Think of food. It's there! :D
Transmute Mud to Rock Transmute Mud to Roc Turns the target mud into a Roc, who may not be friendly.
Transmute Rock to Mud Transmute Rock to Cud Target rock turns into sticky, gross, chewed plant matter. It smells like cow.
Transport via Plants Transport Via Pants As normal, but through pants. You can use your own, but will appear without pants on the other side.
Trap the Soul Trap the Sole Target is unable to move and becomes flatfooted instead of the intended effect, as their feet are glued to the floor. Permanent until dispelled.
Tree Shape Tree Shape (Warped) Forms the shape of a tree but does not turn into one. Instead your body simply distorts appropriately. It looks very grotesque but does not harm the caster.
Tree Stride Tree Ride Summons a Trent who cannot attack, but can carry you and be ridden.
True Resurrection Two Resurrection As normal but also revives an 'evil clone' of the target, and they immediately fight it out.
True Seeing Trucing The caster makes a Diplomacy check at a +30 bonus to stop the fighting.
True Strike Two Strike You can make an additional strike at your full attack bonus, but no bonus to hit.

Warped Spells U-Z[edit]

Table: Warped Spells (U)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Undeath to Death Undeaf to Deaf As the spell, but it works on the living and deafens them instead of slays them.
Undetectable Alignment Undetectable Eloignment Transports the caster 100 ft. away in any direction, makes them invisible as per the spell, and leaves an illusion of the caster in his place. Treat as Mislead, crossed with Dimension Door.
Unhallow Unhollow Reverse of Hollow, filled up an empty container with dust.
Unholy Aura Unholy Flora All plants and plant creatures in 60 ft. burst around caster gain the Evil subtype.
Unholy Blight Unholy Light As the Daylight spell, but good aligned creatures act as if light-sensitive and are dazzled.
Unseen Servant Insane Servant As normal, but the Servant acts as if Confused, and does random activities.
Table: Warped Spells (V)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Vampiric Touch Vampiric Torch Touch attack sets vampires on fire.
Veil Veal As Veil, but illusion displays party members as floating trays of cooked veal.
Ventriloquism Vent Criticism For the next 24 hours you must make a Will save against this spell or criticize anything you encounter, which can get you in trouble.
Virtue Invert'chu Target is flipped upsidedown onto their head.
Vision Revision The spell works as normal but the data you receive has been edited noticeably for political correctness, language, and creative license.
Table: Warped Spells (W)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Wail of the Banshee Mail of the Banshee In 2d4 days a letter arrives to the target which says 'Whaaaa' and slays them.
Wall of Fire Wall of Fliers A wall of paper advertisements for various places appears. It provides cover but is useless, with a break DC of 1, 1 hp, and no hardness.
Wall of Force Wall of Farce It seems to be a Wall of Force but it can be broken with a DC 20 Str check.
Wall of Ice Wall of Mice Barrier of levitating mice deal piercing damage via bites, treat as Wall of Thorns.
Wall of Iron Wall of Irons A metal steaming wall deals damage as if a Wall of Fire, but as solid and unpassable as a Wall of Iron.
Wall of Stone Wall of Toner A black powdery wall which provides concealment, but can be passed through. Doing so however randomly changes your colors as a Prestidigitation effect.
Wall of Thorns Wall of Corns Wall is composed of ears of corn, slowing movement to 5 ft. and providing concealment. If struck with over 10 points of fire damage they pop, dealing 1d4 nonlethal damage and covering the ground in a 20 ft. radius, giving -20 to Move Silently checks.
Warp Wood Warp Wood (Warped) Target wood goes into hyperspeed, shifting to another planet or plane.
Water Breathing Water Bathing The water around you gets sudsy, and all your items are cleaned.
Water Walk Water Talk As Stone Tell, but to a body of water.
Waves of Exhaustion Waves of Exhaust Waves of smoke emanate, choking and suffocating its victims.
Waves of Fatigue Waves of Fatty All targets bloat, gaining +1 natural armor but moving at half speed and -4 to Dex.
Web Web (Warped) A magic window appears with curious words to something called 'Google'. You may acquire information equivalent to the casting of Divination, before it vanishes.
Weird Weird (Warped) Something downright weird happens, but no fatal effects. Instead everyone, caster included, must save or be stunned for 3 rounds just boggled by the weird thing they see.
Whirlwind Hurl Wind Treat as Gust of Wind but filled with the caster's vomit. Those effected must make an additional Fort save or be nauseated for 1d4+1 rounds.
Whispering Wind Whispering Wind (Warped) The air around you keeps whispering you odd things. The faster the wind, the more often and stranger it gets, but no other effect. Treat as a curse that is permanent until removed.
Wind Walk Win Walk Make a move action to take a victory lap! You deserve it! :D
Wind Wall Window Wall A Wall of Stone appears but it has a nice big window in it, so it's kind of useless.
Wish Fish As Wish, but somehow Fish themed or corrupt.
Wood Shape Wood Ape Conjures a well made but curious wooden statue of your favorite primate.
Word of Chaos Wood of Chaos Any wooden weapons carried by the caster become Anarchic for 1 hour/level.
Word of Recall Wood of Recall The next wooden item you purchase from a store is immediately recalled due to some defect.
Table: Warped Spells (Z)
Original Spell Warped Spell Basic Effect
Zone of Silence Zone of Sylars The area is filled with 1d4 psychotic telekinetics with a level equal to the caster's Caster Level who want to eat your brain.
Zone of Truth Zone of Tooth All creatures within the area have their teeth repaired to perfection.

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