Lady Anatidae (3.5e NPC)

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Lady "Swansong" Anatidae[edit]

Lady "Swansong" Anatidae

3rd-lvl Fighter/9th-lvl Cloistered Cleric

Anthropomorphic Duckbunny

Size/Type: Small Monstrous Humanoid
Hit Dice: 3d10+9 plus 9d6+27 (104 hp)
Initiative: +2 (+1 Dex, +1 morale)
Speed: 15'(3 squares)
Armor Class: 24 (+1 size, +9 armor, +1 Dex, +3 shield), touch 12, flat-footed 23
Base Attack/Grapple: +7/+5
Attack: Medium +1 transmuting adamantine greathammer +11 melee (1d12+4/19-20/x4) or bill +10 melee (1d4+2)
Full Attack: Greathammer +11/+6 and bill +5
Space/Reach: 5'/5'
Special Attacks: Combat focus, pack mule, problem solver, spells
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60', domains (dragon, knowledge, planning), lore, weapons training
Saves: Fort +14*, Ref +10*, Will +16*
Abilities: Str 14, Dex 12, Con 16, Int 16, Wis 20, Cha 18
Skills: Balance +1, Diplomacy +5, Intimidate +24, Knowledge (Arcana, Dungeoneering, Local, Nature, Religion, the Planes) +18, Spellcraft +12
Feats: Divine Metamagic (Persistent Spell), Dreadful Demeanor, Extend SpellB, Imperious CommandB, Knowledge Devotion, Monkey Grip, Persistent Spell
Environment: Any
Organization: Unique; solitary or with her merry band of kleptomaniacal, genocidal, ultra-violent hobos of lawful good alignment. (But it's okay, they were ugly, so slaughtering their children and stealing their family jewels was for The Greater Good.)
Challenge Rating: 12
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic neutral
Level Adjustment:
Skill Tricks: Collector of Stories, Never Outnumbered, Swift Concentration

* greater resistance

With Divine Power and Righteous Might active:

Medium Monstrous Humanoid
Hit Dice: 3d10+12 plus 9d6+36 plus 9 temp (125 hp)
Base Attack/Grapple: +12/+18
Attack*: Large greathammer +13 melee (9d6+22/19-20/x4) or bill +12 melee (1d6+18)
* -6 power attack (Tome style)
Full Attack: Greathammer +13/+8/+8 and bill +7 melee (1d6+15)
Abilities: Str 22, Con 18
Skills: Intimidate +25

Now this is unexpected. Looks like a caped knight of sorts, but he (she?) carries an absurdly large warhammer with a head at least half as big as the warrior. A magical shield orbits the obviously powerful fighter, but the strangest thing of all is there is a duck's bill sticking out of the front of the helmet, and there are rabbit ears up top. Rather odd helmet decor, don't you think?

Lady "Swansong" Anatidae the Henpecker is an anthropomorphic duckbunny, the product of an arcane laboratory. Most of her life she has born the brunt of extreme prejudice from those who refuse to take seriously a fuzzy person with rabbit ears and a duck's bill (of which there are understandably many). She has taken up the way of the weapon as well as the divine righteous beatdown so as to better deliver said righteous beatdowns on those who don't fear or respect her.

First she was created by amateur lifecrafters, then was captured and experimented upon to become a humanoid version of her already unnatural form. She lived around the wizard's college of her "birth", but never felt welcome despite the fact that the casters within were the least likely to react to her with amusement following brief horror. She still hung around because she was the size of a halfling and others found her ten times as annoying elsewhere. Her experiences growing up was to a typical half-orc's as a half-orc's is to a half-elf. Very early in life she learned to wield a blade and wield it with skill and smarts. When not fighting she was learning about all sorts of subjects from the public mage libraries — and reading stories about freaks overcoming prejudices with a wistful look in her bunny eyes — mostly those pertaining to how best to fight every imaginable monster (humanoid or no).

She has compensated for her decidedly nonthreatening appearance by becoming really, really good at being mean and threatening. It's about the only way she can get people to behave themselves without spilling their internal organs on the floor. She's had moderate success in this endeavor. She doesn't shout or throw insults, for hers is a more brooding rage, like a growling guard dog with some moron approaching its food bowl. No witty comebacks; she says exactly what she means: "Continue pestering me and I will kill you." She speaks slowly, her volume never increases until someone's getting their throat chomped, and often not even then.

Anatidae doesn't respect authority or command structures at all, thinking that if they were any good at their job they would have made more people not be such enormous jerks. She doesn't care about freedom or any of that junk, but she's certainly not going to follow orders from some bumbling fool who can't even convince the populous to wash their hands under any circumstance below the threat of certain jailtime or execution. And she's not at all shy about expressing this viewpoint, either. Especially to anyone who fancies themselves her master for no other reason than somebody else calls them constable or lord high jellybean or whatever.

She was semi-successful in the city and nearby towns as a bandit, but she never lasted long with one party after another since she would always end up killing one or more in her group the moment she overheard a snicker in her direction or caught an involuntary smirk at her form. Rabbits are good at seeing and hearing. This always seemed to happen before she had a chance to burn down a tavern or orphanage.

Swansong would have turned evil had she not found her current bandmates of righteousness and acceptance. They taught her all about faith and not being so darn angry all the time. She doesn't worship any particular deity, instead opting to venerate education, foresight, and dragons — because she admires the fact that, even though they're freakish cat-alligators with bat wings, metal or gem scales (some of them), and literally murderous halitosis, they command respect from everyone by being so very hardcore, something she's always had to try and be just to buy a mug of ale without the bartender collapsing in a fit of the giggles.

She became a sort of bookworm priest, but she never put away her arms and armor. She was never a preacher nor a healer, preferring to use her godly gifts to enhance her ability at brutally slaughtering everyone she didn't like. Well, so long as it didn't upset her compatriots too much.

She's the designated loot hauler by her teammates, thanks to her feats and class abilities letting her carry a crapload and not caring about it even when her Strength is unbuffed.

Nowadays after a very successful adventuring career including a knighthood, even though she is well-respected far and wide, she still suffers a bit from an inferiority complex. She's always sniffing the air for the slightest insult from any she doesn't consider a friend. But she's better these days at not immediately pulping the face of anyone who does a double-take at her ears or beak. Especially since she's perfectly capable of killing a dozen trained soldiers before they know they're being attacked.

No, she doesn't have mammaries you sick freaks. Why? Power Word: No, that's why. And she doesn't sound like a female Donald Duck either. It's bad enough without that crap.


Lady Anatidae is a divine gish for the most part, though not a very optimized one. She's best on the front lines, cracking skulls with that gigantic warhammer of hers.

Thanks to Knowledge Devotion and Collector of Stories, her attack and weapon damage rolls against any creature gain an average of +4 insight bonus — or +3 insight if you don't think CoS works with KD like that; either way the "thinking man's weapon focus and specialization" works well enough.

She usually has Divine Power and Righteous Might on all day thanks to persistent spell and divine metamagic; she has 11 turn attempts a day (4 of them thanks to her nightstick) and gets 1 more thanks to Eagle's Splendor, which she uses on both spells.

What [Combat] feat she chooses with Problem Solver depends on what she wants to do or who she's up against. If she really wants to beat some suckers down, she'll Blitz. Against wraiths and such she becomes a Ghost Hunter. Sneaks won't get past her Blind Fighting. If she meets a mind flayer or other scary folk, up goes Iron Will. Most of the time, though, she becomes a crit machine with Insightful Strike (her greathammer suddenly does 17-20/x7); unless against undead or constructs or has a hard time hitting, in which case she uses Weapon of Righteous Destruction for a +4 enhancement bonus on attack and damage and the Holy and Sun properties with all her weapons (including her bite).

She's good at spooking lots of people thanks to Dreadful Demeanor, Never Outnumbered, and Imperious Command.


Combat Focus (Ex): If Lady Swansong is in a situation that is stressful and/or dangerous enough that she would normally be unable to "take 10" on skill checks, she may spend a Swift Action to gain Combat Focus. She may end her Combat Focus at any time to reroll any die roll she makes, and if not used it ends on its own after a number of rounds equal to her BAB.
Problem Solver (Ex): Once per hour as a swift action, Lady Anatidae may choose any [Combat] feat she meets the prerequisites for and use it for a number of rounds equal to her BAB.
Pack Mule (Ex): Lady Swansong suffers no penalties for carrying a medium load, and may retrieve stored items from her person without provoking an attack of opportunity.
Spells: The Henpecker casts spells as a 9th-lvl cleric with a CL of 9 (10 with divination spells).
Spells per day: 6/6/5/4/3/2 plus one bonus domain spell per level
Typical spells prepared:
0th — create water, detect magic (2), light (2), purify food and drink
1st — conviction, detect secret doorsD, divine favor, omen of peril (2), protection from evil, shield of faith
2nd — auguryD, divine insight (2), eagle's splendor*, lesser restoration (2)
3rd — mass lesser vigor, mass resist energy, remove curse, tonguesD, wind wall
4th — divine power*, greater resistance*, lesser holy transformation, voice of the dragonD
5th — divine agility, righteous might*, true seeingD
* already cast


Domains: Dragon, Knowledge, and Planning.
+1 transmuting adamantine greathammer
+1 moderate fortification fullplate
+1 animated heraldic crest (courage) heavy steel shield
Belt of Magnificence +2
Lore (Ex): Identical to bardic knowledge; is +12.
Weapons Training (Ex): By practicing with a weapon she is not proficient with for a day — including exotic weapons — Lady Anatidae may permanently gain proficiency with that weapon by succeeding at an Intelligence check DC 10 (you may not take 10 on this check).

Adventure Ideas[edit]

  • Mid Level: A short man in brown-and-red attire, with a strange dialect, carrying an even odder weapon that resembles a cheap iron table leg, claims to be hunting Swansong, the one being that embodies his two most hated nemeses.
  • High Level: On the final leg of your adventure, you find your current quest's macguffin. However, Lady Anatidae and her own adventuring party want the same thing, and are willing to kill to acquire it.

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