Deck of Plenty, 3rd Variant (5e Equipment)
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Wondrous Item, legendary
A magical deck of cards that have the following effects when drawn from the deck. Use a deck of cards to choose. Cards reappear after 1d6 year(s).
A- A Portal Staff  disguised as a normal iron shovel appears in front of you
2- A Ring of Drowning  comes out of the Card
3- The card starts spinning in mid air and knives start to fly out of it at the level you held it at. Dealing 1d4 piercing if they hit you
4- A Black Unicorn Appears in front of you.
5- Water spews out of the card, contained in an invisible box that is 10 ft cubed. You must escape the box (you can pass through it but water cannot)
6- Your hair changes into a different color of the rainbow every hour. All your hair.
7- You become thicc
8- You can now speak to Hamsters
9- A kitten pops out of the card, it follows you everywhere
10- A large diamond appears but if you touch it you take 1d6 radiant damage.
J- You get an afro
Q- You get half a piece of magical armor
K- The ground falls out below you and you start falling, it seems to last forever but you are actually just on the ground screaming..
A- You get a torch of ever-burning fire
2- You become a pyromaniac pyromancer. You learn 2 fire related cantrips.
3- You gain a third eye. You are now a triclops.
4- 4 rings pop out of the card, they appear stupendously magical. They have no worth whatsoever.
5- 5 random cantrips shootout at you from the card
6- You feel a fervent desire to eat chocolate and candy, all other food makes you sick (Candy and Chocolate are now your normal foods)
7- 7 hours pass but nobody and nothing has moved.
8- You become aware you are in a game for 10 seconds and act accordingly.
9- The card starts yelling insults at you, using Vicious Mockery 1d4 times.
10- You become incredibly thirsty.
J- You become incredibly over hydrated.
Q- You are knocked unconscious.
K- Gravity increases 5 fold on you.
A- Your voice sounds very quiet to you therefore you shout everything.
2- You question everything (Paranoid)
3- You question everything (Philosophy)
4- You become a mathematician and aim your spells and attacks as such. Take an extra turn to calculate your attacks, you now crit on an 18, 19, or 20.
5- If you have a bag of holding, all the contents appear on the ground in front of you.
6- If you have a Bag of Holding, all your equipment, clothes, and items are sucked into it, you are left with only the bag.
7- You get the cantrip Occia allowing you to “Force pull” non-magical items toward you.
8- You get a watch.
9- All your items turn fluorescent green, yellow, or blue.
10- You can read minds however you are always wrong.
J- You can get a very powerful magic grindstone no one can identify by any means. (Vorpal Grindstone)
Q- You get Gloves of Lock Picking: Wearer has advantage on Intelligence checks to determine which type of lock would be best suited to install on a particular door, hatch, or chest (e.g., padlock, deadbolt, etc.).
K- You get 5 of each: Scroll of Literacy, Reader of this scroll becomes literate. Scroll of Cure Blindness, Reader of this scroll is cured of magical / non-magical blindness.
A- You can remove one entity from existence however you will also be removed from existence. (no revival)
2- You get two coins of animal shape.
3- You are really good at killing small defenceless creatures.
4- Creatures from the elemental planes become common in the prime material plane
5- You can eat fire for sustenance
6- You will never get drunk
7- You become a lightweight drinker
8- You know where the Tarasque is
9- You get a very powerful alcohol that will seriously mess you up, even if you can’t get drunk
10- You get a card from the deck of many decks, can be drawn by someone else
J- You get a Helmet of Encouragement 
Q- Endless Jug of Ale appears in your hand
K- You get a Wand of Mystery 
Marked Joker - The room you are in becomes fully furnished as if it were a king’s feast, and yes the feast is included. P.S. All the drinks are poisoned but the Food is fine.
Plain Joker - A Boeing 747 crashes into a kings castle