Deck of Plenty, 2nd Variant (5e Equipment)
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Wondrous Item, legendary
A magical deck of cards, when drawn they have unique effects. Cards reappear after 1d6 year(s).
A- You grow 2 feet taller
2- You shrink 2 feet shorter
3- You gain a house in the middle of the wilderness
4- You know where a small 4 person flying craft fueled by coal with an instruction manual is
5- You learn the cantrip “Detect Gender” to determine someone's gender
6- You gain an enchanted 8 ball that will remove one creature from existence
7- You gain a bag of trash that seams infinite
8- You can break Newton’s Second Law of Motion (Completely under DM's Control)
9- Murphy’s law truly applies to you
10- You contract acne.
J- You can now read 4x as fast as before.
Q- You are branded with a Q, it transforms into the sign of something that the person who looks at it hates.
K- You are now the proud owner of a Floating Island 
A- You gain a potion of Speeeeeeeeeed
2- You are teleported to a remote island in the middle of the ocean, miles away from anyone else. You stay there for 1 day and are teleported back to where you came from. Few. That was close.
3- You cask Death Word Kill (upon becoming a billionaire in gp) unto whoever you decide
4- The card falls to the ground sticking up and growing into an Arcane Door. 
5- A unicorn jumps out of the card and looks upset at you.
6- You now have the ability to summon a pope.
7- Your feet turn into hands, you are able to walk normally.
8- You grow a magnificent beard
9-Your pockets become lined with slime but you don’t notice until you reach into them.
10- You are cloned and the clone tries to attack you, (it has half of all your stats)
J- You are now alcoholic.
Q- You are now the proud owner of a Pub. Your lover runs it for you while you are away.
K- You are now the proud owner of a monster with a CR of Your Level +1 . It obeys you like any other pet you may have. Monster decided by roll.
A- You learn the location of Artifact you never knew you wanted.
2- You learn the location of a people lost to history.
3- You get a stick of Old Spice
4- You subclass as a gentleman
5- You smell like a person’s favourite smell
6- You are teleported to a laboratory where a mad scientist is rambling, he begins to test on you but at the last moment you teleport back.
7- You can summon a Butler at will, he will do Butler things for you.
8- You learn the cantrip acid splash, however, when you use it you become high on acid.
9- Your hair turns into flowers, (the nearest type flower to you)
10- A swarm of Hornets fly out of the cards, stingy your face in the shape of a Club
J- An empty Genie’s lamp appears in your hands. You do not know it is empty.
Q- 1,000 glass marbles spew out of the card (they do not break on impact) one of them is a Liquid Storage Marble that can contain 1 keg of liquid
K- You become the world's greatest chef, with culinary skills that seem almost magical. You can make anything taste good and you have a Bag of Holding V filled with all kinds of food fit for kings. It can only contain food.
A- You gain darkvision.
2- You are blinded.
3- You lose an eye but get a cool eyepatch.
4- You can see 5 seconds into the future.
5- You can see dead people.
6- You always see the worst in people
7- The ground below you turns into quicksand 10 ft deep.
8-You gain truesight with a radius of 10 ft
9- Your eyesight is flipped upside down, can be removed by Remove Curse.
10- You decide life is too hard and role 1d6 (russian roulette) on a 1 you a shot in the head.
J- You are hypnotized to believe whatever someone near you says next.
Q- You get a magical cloak of the DM’s choice.
K- Card transforms into a magical sword of the DM’s choice.
Joker- You gain the ability to cast a level 8 spell. Roll for type.
Marked Joker- You become best friends with death.