Calabera (5e Deity)

Calabera

The skull of a drop bear, viewed from the front

Alignment. Lawful Evil
Domains. Knowledge, War
Divine Rank. Greater Deity

Cosmology & Theology

“	In the beginning was Calabera, and Calabera was the skull, and the skull was the land of Calavera.	”
—Malac'lithh'tiija 1:1

This famous quote opens the Eviilopof'lithejiic, the nineteen-book long holy scriptures of the drop bears. In the Drop Bear language, the word for "skull" is Calabera, the same word used to refer to the land of Calavera and the deity himself. Read in the original drop bear, it could be written as "In the beginning was Calabera, and Calabera was Calabera, and Calabera was Calabera." This confusion has occasionally led to the propagation of many incorrect translations or interpretations, but the most logical is thus: Calabera was the first being in existence, and his head is literally the earth. Now the accuracy of this claim has been disputed, and the modern theology of the drop bears rarely reflects these conclusions in their fullness. A more common interpretation is that Calabera was not the first being existence, rather among the first. Some even take this further and say that the "beginning" spoken of is not the beginning of everything, only the beginning of the drop bears or the land of Calavera. It is also often written that Calabera's skull is not the entire earth, rather only the land of Calabera, but this is much less mainstream, and has more contradictions with descriptions of Calabera's size.

Physical Appearance

“	A single scrap of his flesh was greater than the mount Catataraxenodonanii; a single bristle from his scalp would grow higher than the tallest trees; the sweat from his brow could fill the great river Xamanoc'nocazo for a millennium. A drop of his blood could turn the great sea M'rassasajiibobo black as night; a teardrop could turn it clear again.	”
—Malac'lithh'tiija 1:22-23

The remainder of the first chapter of Malac'lithh'tiija spends a good 26 verses describing Calabera's physical appearance, and surprise, surprise, he looks like a drop bear, but with a few key differences. Primarily, the fangs of a typical drop bear are absent on their god. This should come as no surprise to anyone who knows the drop bear culture well— all drop bears are motivated by a deep hatred of predators and carnivores, but evolutionarily, they fall into the clade Gladiodonta, among some of the worst carnivores ever to evolve, like the ractolact and legitherian, and bear the characteristic saber-like and protruding teeth that have become the hallmark of legitherians. A perfect deity would naturally lack that curse. The second difference is more subtle— verses 15 through 20 describe that his eyes are "shrouded in abyss." Now, drop bears have incredibly dark blood (as referenced in verse 23), and when stressed or strained, blood capillaries near their eyes tend to burst, leaking blood into the skin and fur around their eyes. This effect, which has been taken to be a sign of bravery and devotion is called the "bloodmark." In most drop bears, the volume of blood is so small it appears light red or pink but can darken depending on the stress or the drop bear. Lord Calabera having eyes constantly ringed in black reflects on his characters as a champion of drop bear ideals. The final thing emphasized in Calabera's physical description is his sheer size, which has given the most impetus to the belief that Calabera's skull is the round planet earth, despite this never technically being stated.

Calabera as a Father

“	And the Lord Calabera looked upon the land of Calavera, and saw that it was good. And he took from his flesh, and from his blood, and he created two drop bears, male and female, in his image. And he granted them strength in their bones, and magic in their tongues, and intelligence in their minds, and they were of him, yea, and they were from him.	”
—Malac'lithh'tiija 2:10-14

Drop bears are nonmonogamous, and biological fathers rarely take responsibility for their children, leaving them instead to be raised by a designated "teacher," who has been trained their whole life for the rearing of children. This leaves the mothers free to choose a mate from high social standing, and virtually all drop bears are born like this, with the DNA of a powerful figure, but the training of someone with amazing preparation and experience in raising children. In the Eviilopof'lithejiic, Calabera takes on the dual role of the father of all drop bears and their teacher. Although the second role is generally more important, the role of the father has important repercussions in drop bear society. For starters, all drop bears are seen as the extensions of Calabera, and imagine him not as an unapproachable deity, but as a great one from out of them. It also imbues them with the powers and legacy of Calabera, whatever form that may take in mindset, abilities, and goals. Calabera's role as father of the drop bear is shared indirectly as the father of all living things, though the drop bears are obviously his heirs.

Calabera as a Teacher

“	And it came to pass, that as Ejiiniijoshuuvava went forth to slay the Gvarshers, the spirit of an angel was sent by the lord Calabera to appear unto her in the form of a Soft-Footed Birbak. And it came to pass that the angel came forth and said unto her, "Wherefore goest thou to exterminate the Gvarshers? Thou hast already slain enough for fifty drop bears, yea, even enough for five thousand. Dost thou forget your calling from Calabera, to slay the students of Arebalac to defend that which thou lovest? I say unto you, thou hast broken this great commandment, for thou lovest none, thous lovest not thy people, thou lovest not thy land, thou lovest not thy husband, yea, thou lovest not thine own children. Thou hast taken thy love, yea, the love that thy people feel for thee, and thy land, and thy husband, and thy children, yea, even the love that the lord Calabera gives to thee endlessly, and forsaken it for hatred."	”
—C'zamal'cass 17:18-22

Perhaps the most important role Calabera has a deity to his people is that of a teacher. The endonym of the drop bears, "Calaberavada," literally means "the students of Calabera." As mentioned, a drop bear teacher is the closest father figure to a drop bear, the male who raises a child, and most likely the husband to their mother. Although the drop bears have no singular "mother" in mythology, Calabera still hold this role, teaching the first drop bears the ways of the world in the first days of their creations, creating the world they live in and declaring them the masters of it, and ultimately hoisting them as his pride. The few times Calabera takes an active role in the Eviilopofulithejiic are always taking action to save the drop bears or bolster them. More than anything, Calabera as a teacher shapes the drop bear mindset that they must be perfectly united against everything that is not subordinate to them or allied with them.

Calabera as a God of Prey

“	Calabera created us; he is our father, he is our teacher, he is our arch-lord, he is our warlord, our grand archivist, our arch-shaman, and our prophet. He created the world Calavera for us, from his own skull, and he filled it with creatures to serve as our equals, and plants to serve as our food. Calabera taught us to be perfect; to be beautiful; to bless the earth and to bless each other. Arebalac taught the creatures Calabera created, and poisoned their minds, stripping them of their humanity, twisting their biology and their minds until their connection to Calabera, their connection to anything redeemable, anything remotely human, was irrevocably obliterated. Since that point, it has been our duty, our obligation, our singular purpose on this great skull to exterminate them, to cut them to pieces and water our gardens with their blood, compost their flesh to grow our trees stronger, to carve ourselves weapons from their bone and fashion armor of their skin.	”
—Manofor'r'rar'r'ra the Oracle, Essucissexir 51:43-53

In addition to his position as the patron deity of the drop bears, Calabera has three important domains— he is the god of vegetarianism and herbivory, the god of prophecy and foresight, and the god of holy war and genocide. His most obvious and central domain, intertwined with his patronization of the drop bears, is herbivory. In the early chapters of the Eviilopof'lithejiic, Calabera establishes food rules that must be followed by all drop bears. These rules aren't even a law to obey, however— drop bears can only eat plants, and some small and irrelevant invertebrates like clams and grubs, all of which is covered under the drop bear term "Sev'ropafuux'fuux," which is usually translated as "plants." Calabera also takes on responsibility for all herbivorous creatures, including the Grung and Rwap native to Calavera, and even foreign herbivores like Orcs and Minotaurs. Calabera also accepts vegetarians of omnivorous species. In the drop bear world view, which is presumably informed by the world view of Calabera, all creatures are either "Sev'ropafuux'fuux" (plants), something that is safe to eat; "Xalap'riss'jin'zh" (herbivores), something that is friendly; or "Zh'nij'ssir'palax" (carnivores), something that is evil; with absolutely no room for the definitions not to line up.

Calabera as a God of Prophecy

“	And it came to pass that in that same year, the spirit of an angel came unto me in the form of a hummingbird, and said unto me, "Behold, I come bearing baleful tidings; for behold, Calabera the Arch-Lord has dreamed a dream, or in other words, he has seen a vision, and behold it shall come to pass that in ten days, fire and brimstone shall rain from above across all the land of Calavera; and the great city of Cazax'fol'juupoliit'ssajii shall be overturned, and many shall perish, and there shall be weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth; yea, all this shall come to pass unless thou shalt warn all the people of the land Calavera of a cataclysm.	”
—S'valish'man'tess the Watchman, G'thag'nomethhiija 1:3-6

Calabera's aspect as a god of prophecy comes somewhat out of left field, although the ability is one of his main powers. The explanation often used is that, since there is a slight delay between when we see something and the knowledge reaches our brain, we are all technically seeing into the future. Calabera, being much bigger than the average drop bear, has a much bigger gap, and sees further into the future. This explanation doesn't make any sense by biological standards, but it doesn't stop Calabera from foreseeing events. Compared to other gods of prophecy, Calabera can see further into the future with more clarity, though his visions are shorter, out of context, and can rarely be controlled. Calabera reveals his visions through the closest thing he has to clerics, his prophets, who are said to commune with angels and divine the will and visions of Calabera. Prophets are rare, and whenever one purports to arise, they are usually met with skepticism. Because of the scarcity in prophets, the next best thing in drop bear culture is the shaman, a sort of druid who draws their power from the storm.

Calabera as a God of Holy War

“	And thus it is— they shall never perish, and neither can we. As long as Arebalac exists, as long as the Inhuman lives, as long as there are still creatures who can eat more than plants, forever and ever until the end of time, predators will exist, driven by the darkness Arebalac has put within them in the Malac'lithh'tiija to tear us apart and feed upon our children, to drink our blood and devour our flesh, and to nurture their children with the marrow of our bones, we will always be dancing on edge of blade suspended over the chasm of utter oblivion. As long as a single cell of a single creature exists that feeds on other animals, it is our first and only directive to find it and to expel the light of intelligence out of its accursed form, for our god, our religion, our freedom, our peace, and the lives our wives and our children. By Calabera's hand and in his name, we must commit ourselves to an eternal war, or we shall all falter and be snuffed out as a drop of burning pitch in a hurricane.	”
—Mazhisop'lariz the Mind-Dreamer, Cass'tamonuu 58:22-26

Calabera's main prerogative, as expressed through the will of his children and his prophets, is to destroy the Zh'nij'ssir'palax. Although it is admitted that this will never be won (in fact, that is the single moral of the book of C'zamal'cass), it is still a command of Calabera, second only to his command to eat only plants, to destroy anything that eats meat. In the Lordship of Calavera, military service is mandatory for 4 years, although the extent to which this draft is enforced varies through good times and bad. Although this war has been romanticized as a cyclic war that can be lost but not won, where drop bears fight to survive, then to grow, then to thrive, but as the industrial revolution runs through Calavera, the goal of extinction has already begun to be realized in a few species of megafauna. The followers of Calabera don't seem to have fully reconciled the implication of this.

Calabera Among the Other Gods

“	And the angel said unto me; Look! And I looked, and beheld the great tree, and lo; its roots stretched forward into a great water. And I sought to go forward, and gaze into the great waters. And behold, the roots stretched forward into the depths, and the depths stretched forward beyond the light. And the angel commanded me to gaze into the darkness, and I looked, and I did not see. Then the angel took touched me, and transfigured my eyes, that I might see, and I looked forth once more into the darkenss, and I beheld an abyss, and within it was a great beach that stretched forth forever, yea, and there was no water within it. And I looked and beheld a great beast, with the body of drop bear and the head and claws of a carnivore. And I said, surely this must be Arebalac himself. And the angels told me, this is the great Balish'cossiira, yea, the great hell that will be the home of all the Zh'nij'ssir'palax and I asked unto him, how is it, that we are well, and our Lord receives us, and they are wicked, and their Lord receives them? And the angels answered and said, he accepts them not as their Lord, but as their predator.	”
—Govar'nothhuulic the Trawler, Balish'cossiira 3:1-9

Calabera is seen as peerless, and the drop bear pantheon contains no fellow gods that stand with Calabera. Calabera, of course, has no shortage of enemies, beginning with his polar opposite, Arebalac. The initial details of Arebalac's existence and his conception are not known, but the drop bears seem to be content without an explanation. He appears to be some sort of entity without a distinct physical form, and his magic is supposedly the reason of the unexplained appearance of carnivorous creatures in ostensibly herbivorous clades. This notion is especially resonant to the drop bears, who naturally blame him for the propagation of carnivory in any creature and seek to destroy his students, although Arebalac himself was defeated and pushed out of relevance during the biblical Shal'bos't'ren'd Next to Arebalac, the Calabera has also had a significant interaction with Yeenoghu, a demon lord with a similar agenda to Arebalac. Yeenoghu's layer of the abyss, the Death Dells, is used as the drop bear hell, for both the predators that hunt them and for the wicked among them. Yeenoghu, it seems, doesn't take much interest in Calabera, seemingly realizing how impossible it is to convince the drop bears to become predators, and so having no reason to continue persecute them above other creatures. A third entity opposed to Calabera is a spirit called Wendigo, popular on the continent where Calavera lies, but generally unknown outside of it. Wendigo's main domain is cannibalism, although he is typically harmless to drop bears because of their inability to digest meat, and so receives short shrift from Calabera. Calabera's main enemy is Laririss'toto, who was once a drop bear, but somehow was transformed into a meat-eater, likely due to some combination of the previous three deities. Laririss'toto transformed himself into a god, and created the Legitherians, who remain the main enemy of the drop bears. The full story of Laririss'toto can be read about in the book of Ss't'romaboss't'ren'd, but ultimately, he was defeated similarly to Arebalac, and ultimately remains a significant threat, despite his weakened state.

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