Useless Magecraft (3.5e Feat)

Useless Magecraft [General]

Allow you to use the magic which is mostly useless (but it has a few uses)

Prerequisite: Spellcraft 5 ranks, Knowledge (arcana) 5 ranks

Benefit: Each time you take this feat, select three of the below magic abilities from the list. You can use each selected one 1/day as a full round action (you pay 500 XP each time you use it to change it to a immediate action). You can also use it additional times per day if you pay 500 XP each time you want to use it additionally if you have run out of slots. These spell-like abilities have no verbal or somatic components, and normally no XP component either. You are allowed to select the same ability more than once. These can be used as you choose even if you are under control by someone/something else, and nobody can force you to use these, either.

• Ability Subtraction: Caster takes up to 5 points (you may specify the exact amount 0-5) of ability damage to a ability score of your choice. This ability damage heals at a rate of 1 point per round (this does not heal any other ability damage).
• Arcane Rock: Creates a small rock which radiates magic but has no other magical effects.
• Black Deck:* Select any card from the Deck of Many Things, which must be of the spades or clubs suit (hearts, diamonds, and jokers, may not be selected). This effect happens to you immediately.
• Colored Air: Colors all air within a 50 ft radius of the caster, for 1 minute. This partially blinds everyone in the area (including the caster). You can specify the color upon casting.
• Dancing Lights: All light sources within 35 ft animate and dance to the tune of music. This does not obscure any vision and has no combat effect. It lasts for 5 minutes.
• Death to the Caster: Instantly kills the caster (no save). You may specify what kind of appearance it is to anyone to attempts to figure out how you got killed.
• Detect Prime:* Select any target you can see within 30 ft. For each of these attributes of the target, it tells you whether or not the current value is prime (1 and less are not prime): Current HP, Armor Class, Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, Charisma, Psionic Power Points, Level.
• Fake Gold Piece: Creates a permanent fake gold piece. It looks like real money, however, if it is spent they can make Bluff check DC 17, or recognize as fake. Once per day, at the same time of day this ability was cast (including at the exact time it was cast), it emit a shower of sparks, dealing 3d4 damage to the holder and all adjacent characters.
• Feign Invisibility: Makes other creatures believe the caster is invisible (but does not actually make the caster invisible), but other creatures believe that somehow they are now able to see the caster even while they are invisible (no save, unless the creatures really can't see the caster (because of blindness or something), in which case it is Will DC 15). Lasts for 3 rounds.
• Find Terrain:* If there is a ground for the caster to fall forward onto and the caster is upright, the caster does immediately fall down onto that ground and causes the caster to take 1d4 points of damage from the fall (can be more or less depending on circumstances). This also allows the caster to know what the ground is made of. It can be used even if the caster is currently incapable of movement, however, this does not cause the caster to become capable of movement. Also, if the caster is tied to something and is too far away from the ground for the rope (or other item) to reach, this effect does nothing.
• Hallucination: Causes the caster to hallucinate for 1 minute (not dismissible).
• Messy Floor:* Makes the floor in the immediate area to be messy and dirty. It is not become dangerous by being in this state.
• Mother: Causes a touched target to believe they are your mother, regardless of gender or if they are a different kind of creature, or anything else. Lasts for 6 rounds.
• Mouthful of Crabs: Creates crabs in the caster's mouth (if you have no mouth, this has no effect). They remain there until removed, which takes a full round action. The caster takes 2d4 damage instantly, and another 2d4 every minute the crabs remain in the mouth.
• Narwhal Figure: Creates a permanent tiny plastic figurine of a confused whale with a horn.
• Negate Useless Magic:* Negates any effect caused by this feat (except the ones with asterisks). If an item was created, that item is now destroyed. You must be within 30 ft of the effect, however it is not necessary to see it.
• Nightmare: Caster falls asleep and has a nightmare. (This does not count as the rest for the day, unless you have been awake and completely unrested for 100 hours consecutively)
• Obscure Object: Creates an object with no discernable purpose.
• Random Magic: Roll on Table 7-20 and either Table 7-23 or Table 7-24 to select a random 0-level spell. The spell is cast with no components, with the target being the caster. The caster level is 1.
• Remove Hand:* Spellcaster's hand falls off. You may select which one. Cannot be fixed by Negate Useless Magic, but Limited Wish, Wish, Miracle, can instantly fix it, also anything that would normally allow your hand to be reattached will also fix it.
• Rimshot: Make a rimshot noise in the background. It doesn't do any damage, and there isn't a physical object to make the noise.
• Self Inflicting: Does 1 point of damage to the caster (no save). Anyone else who tries to figure out, it seems as a strong effect of healing, even though it isn't.
• Skill Subtraction: Caster loses 2 ranks in a specified skill for 1 minute. You can even specify literacy as the skill (even if you are not a barbarian), and if Speak Language is selected, you can even lose languages that you have not learned by the use of this skill.
• Static Charge: Fills the caster's body with energizing, harmless static electricity. With a touch attack, this charge may be released directly into another person or object. If a person, the charge has no effect except minor annoyance. If a metal object, such as a weapon, it retains the charge until a person touches it, at which point it releases the shock into the person. The spell is good for one shock.
• Summon Grue: Can be used only when pitch dark in the area, with no light sources nearby. Summons a grue, which has infinite hit-points, and which does 5d20 damage to each creature within a 30 ft radius of the caster (including the caster) as long as nothing blocking movement is in the way. The caster cannot prevent this damage to themself. After damage is dealt, or if anyone becomes capable of seeing the grue, it vanishes immediately.
• Summon Housefly: Summons a housefly to annoy the caster for 5 minutes.
• Tinfoil Hat: Creates a tinfoil hat which lasts for 2 minutes. Protects the user from mind-reading effects. Also -5 penalty to Charisma.
• Vulnerability: Causes caster's armor class to be reduced to negative infinity for five minutes. The caster can dismiss this effect at any time.
• Water Squirting Flower: Creates a permanent flower which squirts a harmless stream of annoying yet drinkable water on command. The command can be any verbal or mental command that the caster specifies upon casting. Usable only once per minute. It is not required to be holding this item to activate it, but whoever is activating it must be near it.
• Wish:* Make any wish. The DM twists and changes it to make it very worse than anything. If this is not possible, or if you are being too specific, this fails. Costs 5000 XP just like a normal wish does (even if it fails).

Special: Multiple times

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