Team-Killing F*cktard (3.5e Prestige Class)
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|“||"You shot Church you Team-killing F*cktard!"||”|
|—Lavernius Tucker, Human Fighter, Red vs. Blue|
KILL THEM ALLL!!!!!!!!!!! MWQAHAHAHAHAHA Team-killing F*cktards are different from traitors. Traitors leak military secrets, double-cross their teams, and kill them on purpose. A Team-killing F*cktard earns his status when he inadvertently kills one or more of his party members.
Becoming a Team-killing F*cktard
A potential Team-killing F*cktard can only become a Team-killing F*cktard by killing one of his own party members. This action cannot be done on purpose; to truly be a Team-killing F*cktard, you must kill your friend on accident.
There are no important ability scores for a Team-killing F*cktard. In fact, the dumber you are (less intelligence) the more likely you are to become a Team-killing F*cktard.
|Base Attack Bonus:||+3|
|Special:||You must have accidentally killed one of your party members.|
|Saving Throws||Special||Spellcasting or Manifesting|
|1st||+1||+2||+2||+0||Miss Chance, Improbable Chance, Friendly Fire,||+1 level of existing class|
|2nd||+2||+3||+3||+0||You are a Team-Killing F*cktard, Double Trouble||+1 level of existing class|
|3rd||+3||+3||+3||+1||Worsened Miss Chance, Worsened Improbable Chance, Worsened Friendly Fire||+1 level of existing class|
Class Skills 1 + Int modifier per level)
All of the following are class features of the Team-killing F*cktard.
Spellcasting: At 1st level and every two levels thereafter, you gain new spells per day and an increase in caster level (and spells known, if applicable) as if you had also gained a level in a spellcasting class to which you belonged before adding the prestige class level. You do not, however, gain any other benefit a character of that class would have gained. If you had more than one spellcasting class before becoming a Team-killing F*cktard, you must decide to which class to add each level for the purpose of determining spells per day, caster level, and spells known.
Manifesting: At 1st level and every two levels thereafter, you gain power points per day, an increase in manifester level, and new powers as if you had also gained a level in a manifesting class to which you belonged before adding the prestige class level. You do not, however, gain any other benefit a character of that class would have gained. If you had more than one manifesting class before becoming a Team-Killing Fucktard, you must decide to which class to add each level for the purpose of determining powers, manifester level, and powers known.
Miss Chance (Ex): Whenever you make an attack that misses an opponent, roll a d100. If you roll under 25%, your attack redirects and automatically strikes the nearest possible ally, no matter the range. Roll damage against the ally.
Improbable Chance (Ex): Whenever a Team-killing F*cktard rolls a fumble or a critical strike, the attack redirects and strikes the nearest possible ally, no matter the range. Roll the critical confirmation and the damage against the ally.
Friendly Fire (Ex): Whenever a Team-killing F*cktard casts a spell or uses a spell-like ability that deals damage or has negative effects, he must first make a Will save DC 20 + spell level + relevant spellcasting modifier. If he fails, the spell redirects to the nearest possible ally, no matter the range.
You are a Team-Killing F*cktard (Ex): A Team-killing F*cktard takes a -4 penalty on all charisma checks with allies. In addition, you can no longer gain a cohort. Nobody likes a Team-killing F*cktard.
Double Trouble (Ex): Whenever a class ability causes you to 'accidentally' harm an ally, double all damage or effects.
Worsened Miss Chance (Ex): Whenever you make an attack that misses an opponent, roll a d100. If you roll under 50%, your attack redirects and automatically strikes the nearest possible ally, no matter the range. Roll damage against the ally.
Worsened Improbable Chance (Ex): Whenever a Team-killing F*cktard rolls a fumble or a critical strike, the attack redirects and strikes the nearest possible ally, no matter the range. The critical is automatically confirmed.
Worsened Friendly Fire (Ex): Upon reaching third level, there is no save to prevent your allies from being affected by your spells.
Playing a Team-Killing F*cktard
Team-Killing F*cktards make great melee combatants, since that seems to be the only combat you CAN use. If you're a spellcaster of some type, even if you end up killing your friend and WANT to take this class, don't. You'll suck for the rest of your life, and your friends WILL stop inviting you to campaign sessions.
Combat: Use aid another whenever possible and make sure to stand really close to the edge of any deep pits; hopefully your enemies will kill you and your party members can forget all about you. If you want to be useful, wade into melee against the largest group you can find, out of range for any healing spells. This weakens the monsters, hopefully kills you, and makes life much better for the party.
Advancement: Team-Killing F*cktards typically advance as members of the class they were in before they became Team-Killing Fucktards. This is probably the best option; a Team-Killing F*cktard only gets progressively worse as his levels add up.
Resources: Are you kidding? Team-Killing F*cktards can't even work with each other without killing a whole mess of people. Any organizations that do spring up typically fall apart within the week as the Team-Killing F*cktards inevitably end up killing each other.
Usefulness: Seriously? You're reading this?
Team-Killing Fucktards in the World
If you end up fighting a group including a Team-Killing F*cktard, laugh. Team-Killing F*cktards are the kind of people you find in military stockades and as corpses on the side of the road all the time. They have NO friends, NO chance at redemption, and they generally suck. They make GREAT double-agents, since working with a Team-Killing F*cktard almost always gets you killed. Unfortunately, when he reports back to you, you'll probably die, too.
|“||"Oh No! I'M the Team-Killing F*cktard!"||”|
|—Leonard Church, Human Fighter/Team-killing F*cktard, Red vs. Blue|
Team-Killing F*cktards exist as comedic relief and as Deus ex Machina. They are often celebrated as war heroes by the other side for outstanding performance in battle. At the same time, they are often well-liked by adventurers, since a Team-Killing F*cktard has changed the tide of their battle many a time.
NPC Reactions: After an NPC gets done laughing at a Team-Killing F*cktard, they will often attempt to kill him in the most horrific ways imaginable. Alternatively, they may pretend to like them to their face, but quietly talk about them behind their backs.
Team-Killing F*cktard Lore
Team-Killing F*cktards are often researched out of boredom, since stories of their sheer stupidity and fumbles cause much laughter among those who read about them.
Characters with ranks in Knowledge (history) can research Team-Killing F*cktards to learn more about them. When a character makes a skill check, read or paraphrase the following, including information from lower DCs.
|11||Team-Killing F*cktards are people who killed their allies.|
|16||Team-Killing F*cktards suck at ranged combat.|
|21||A Team-Killing F*cktard has actually been beneficial in certain wars, winning the mission for the opposing kingdom.|
|26||Characters who achieve this level of success learn the location and name of a Team-Killing F*cktard.|
Team-Killing F*cktards in the Game
Team-Killing F*cktards are the only Prestige Class that actually detracts from a player's usefulness. As such, players are encouraged to use them only if they want to be completely useless at ranged combat and most useful magic. However, NPC Team-Killing F*cktards will be remembered for years to come as the bumbling moronic warrior who inadvertently saved the day for his enemies.
Adaptation: A Team-Killing F*cktard is an ace in the hole for players who just have no luck at all.
Sample Encounter: The PC's are getting beaten into next week by a powerful gang of orcs. All at once, one of them picks up a bow, nocks an arrow, and ends up shooting one of his comrades in the back of the head. The Deus ex Machina feeling the PC's get is dwarfed only by the overwhelming luck they are feeling right now.
EL whatever: The encounter can continue as the Team-Killing F*cktard orc continues to pick off his allies, right up to the point that he either runs out of ammo or gets killed by his fellow orcs. Either way, it causes enough of a distraction that the PC's can regain composure and possibly win the fight.