Talk:Siren, Borderlands Variant (5e Race)
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My initial thoughts on the race:
- Regarding how this race is made up of only 6 members... even if it is game lore, it is not really a race then, which would maybe have more members.
- Ignoring that and the need for more lore, the subrace template needs to be formatted properly.
- For normal sight, it does not need to be listed. The template's wording means that if your race has normal vision, just put down the first trait, which is X (not needing to do with vision)
- On Phasewalk, it sounds like a free jump to the ethereal plane with damage capabilities and invulnerability, which is pretty broken at 1st level. Explosive damage is not a thing in 5e, but force is. It should have a limit usage on it at the very least, like the dragonborn's breath ability.
- Phaselock suffers from the same problem of being overpowered without any limit on its use. You are essentially, forcefully able to planar shift another creature away where they cannot do anything, and you can do this every turn.
- There is a need for wording clean up all around. Races are usually described in 3rd person, not as though it is a casual conversation. It should sound like an encyclopedia entry.
The idea is neat though. I'm not a player of the game so I would want more meat in the lore and descriptions. A bit of wording and balance, with fluff, and it should be good--Yanied (talk) 21:11, 25 September 2019 (MDT)
- I have fixed complaints 3, 4, and 5. Number 1 is just the truth, there are only 6 sirens in the universe at a time. Of course, this is also fluff, meaning that I can be changed by both player and DM if desired. If you want "proper formatting", may I remind you that I am a new user, and as such have little to no idea what "proper formatting" is. As for 6, do you know what that sounds like? Have you ever had fun or learned anything from an encyclopedia? I know I haven't, and I also know that there people like me that would enjoy this kind of writing. I'm sorry, but I am not changing it. Love to you, Yanied! <3 Flamestarter (talk) 18:58, 29 September 2019 (MDT)Flamestarter
- Oh, proper formatting for races, as well as balancing and grammar is well lain out here. Feel free to give it a look-see. As for the encyclopedia thing, it's not really my place to say, and I feel this point has been reiterated before on other pages towards you.--Yanied (talk) 19:43, 30 September 2019 (MDT)
- Yeah, I'm handling that "proper writing" thing. Thanks, Yanied, for trying to help me. You truly are a good friend. Flamestarter (talk) 18:03, 3 October 2019 (MDT)Flamestarter <3
- Oh, proper formatting for races, as well as balancing and grammar is well lain out here. Feel free to give it a look-see. As for the encyclopedia thing, it's not really my place to say, and I feel this point has been reiterated before on other pages towards you.--Yanied (talk) 19:43, 30 September 2019 (MDT)
- I have fixed complaints 3, 4, and 5. Number 1 is just the truth, there are only 6 sirens in the universe at a time. Of course, this is also fluff, meaning that I can be changed by both player and DM if desired. If you want "proper formatting", may I remind you that I am a new user, and as such have little to no idea what "proper formatting" is. As for 6, do you know what that sounds like? Have you ever had fun or learned anything from an encyclopedia? I know I haven't, and I also know that there people like me that would enjoy this kind of writing. I'm sorry, but I am not changing it. Love to you, Yanied! <3 Flamestarter (talk) 18:58, 29 September 2019 (MDT)Flamestarter