Talk:Sergal (5e Race)

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First of all, a race's traits are there for the fluff to translate into rules for the game and introduce mechanics. Adaptive, Simple Mind, Primal, Cultured, Culture of Love and Extinct are lacking in this area. As a result of this, this race suffers very strong disadvantages while getting little in return.

Plus, names are important. A race should not be considered finished before you have names to choose from. Think not just of the PCs, but the DMs who will use it and need to name the random, unimportant NPC your PC's are going to be fascinated with.

On the mechanical side, a race should not decrease attributes and inflict a general disadvantage without engaging the penalized statistic in an interesting way. This is done to prevent "min-maxing" and pigeonholing the race into certain classes and builds.

Here are my suggestion on how you can improve this race, while retaining most of what you wrote:

• It's vulnerability, not weakness against psychic damage.

• A set modifier is discouraged within the game. Replace the penalty for cha saving throws with disadvantage in saving throws.

• Adaptive grants proficiency in the nature skill

• Delete the attribute penalties. The race has strong enough disadvantages as it is.

• Let Primal grant proficiency in survival and let them double their proficiency there.

• Cultured should do the same as primal, but for one skill out of arcana, history, medicine, or religion.

• Culture of Love does the same as the two above but for the performance skill

• Extinct should not be a trait as it has no mechanical consequences.

Lastly "primitive" and "cultured" are, scientifically speaking, not useful terms to describe a culture, since all self aware creatures behave themselves in a some way relating to their environment ("culture") and superstition is unrelated to technological advancement. (For example, conspiracy theory and the believe in fate or angels still is widespread in industrial societies.) I would suggest replacing "primitive" and "superstitious" with "Nomadic", "animistic" and "xenophobic" where appropriate and "Cultured" with "Metropolitan Culture". In general, i think it is more useful and informative to describe how they are (they have/do/believe in X) than what they are (primitive, savage, enlightened, etc.), since everyone has a different view of what that could entail.

As a final note, good job on creating a race that is not overpowered. Honestly speaking, this is an achievement. Although it requires some more work, the race can be expanded rather than reduced in its scope and mechanical impact in the game.

Cheers,--Kara (talk) 23:44, 20 April 2019 (MDT)

As an addendum, the subraces that do not remove susceptive get little in return for this disdavantage and could use improvement in this regard, preferably by receiving a trait that benefits from charisma.--Kara (talk) 11:39, 4 May 2019 (MDT)

Can I get a review on this? Thank you.

Not that anything here is overtly busted but the interaction between the disadvantage and advantages imposed in the race itself are a bit confusing because they differ based on things like terrain and will therefore require a lot of bookkeeping or it becomes an underpowered balance issue. It's a race definitely a bit on the weaker side, which is interesting.--Yanied (talk) 09:35, 4 August 2023 (MDT)