Smurf (5e Race)
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Smurf[edit]
Physical Description[edit]
Each smurf stands about 3 inches, or 3 apples in their confusing and wildly inaccurate measurement system, tall. They are usually slim of build with oversized hands and feet, each possessing four large digits. Their heads and facial features are also disproportionately large, to the point that if not for the fey magic permeating their being they would snap their own necks standing upright. They also have small vestigial tails at the base of their backs. While all smurfs, save a few artificially created ones, are blue, they come in a variety of hues ranging from extremely pale to unnaturally vivid.
While all smurfs can grow eyebrows, usually dark in color, the rest of their hair growth depends on age and gender. Female smurfs can grow hair from their scalps in a variety of colors both mundane and fantastical at any range, though how they style it is up to personal tastes. Male smurfs can’t grow any hair other than the eyebrows until they hit middle age. Once old enough, they can grow white facial hair with their eyebrows changing to the more venerable color and thickening. As they enter their elder years, a male smurf also gains white scalp hair, though many experience male-pattern baldness. Beyond these changes, there is little difference between young and old smurfs.
Clothing-wise all smurfs of a generation or village tend to dress in single color, except for their often older leader who will dress in a different color. They also all wear large smurf caps upon their heads. Female smurfs commonly wear simple dresses and shoes while males usually forgo shirts for closed pants, called smurf pants, that also serve as their shoes. All genders will accessorize beyond that to their individual tastes and notably, even in the dirtiest environments, even their starkest whites never stay stained or dirty for more than a few minutes.
History[edit]
Nobody from the wisest archfey to the smurfs themselves know their origins, though some records indicate they were originally called schtroumpfs. Most of beings of the Feywild and Material Plane are largely unaware of the tiny people thanks to their great magical cloaking abilities, but they still have the misfortune of attracting evil wizards and alchemists thanks to their smurf essences being ideal for the crafting of philosopher’s stones and transmuting lead to gold. Thanks to diminutive sizes however, entire villages need to be razed to create one such magic rock. Admittedly, the smurfs’ habit of annoying such malicious spellcasters with their repetitive songs doesn’t help lessen the ire they generate.
Society[edit]
Smurf society is largely just a loose community with their most senior member taking leadership positions during times of crisis, usually of the smurfs’ own making. Smurfs usually live in forest villages along with 100-200 other smurfs protected by their magic wards. Their houses are usually carved out of giants mushrooms that spring up when smurfs settle in a region, though sometimes other residences like tree hollows or holes will be used by more eccentric smurfs. Each smurf village in led by an elder smurf, usually at least 400 years old. Due their high attrition rate, most villages have only 1 or 2 smurfs of such ages.
While they can feel romantic attraction to other smurfs, smurfs are all asexual beings and have no natural reproductive process. Instead, baby smurfs are delivered to each village to be raised communally one at a time by a stork, the source of which and the miniature smurfs is unknown. Artificial smurfs can also be made through alchemy, though actual smurf magic is needed to make them true smurfs. Artificial smurfs are usually grey with dark hair and have the statistics of a homunculus without a fly speed.
In their daily lives, a split occurs between males and female smurfs. Males tend to focus on one activity, job, or trait and let that focus become the core and reason of their being and personality. It also becomes the basis of their name. Females, on the other hand, tend to be more generalists, though often do excel at specific occupations with time, but as such tend to be more well-rounded as individuals. However, one flaw both genders share is their obliviousness to the world around them, often result in them ignoring or just flat out not understanding when others mean them harm, intentionally or not, until they are in immediate danger.
When engaging with non-smurfs, smurfs tend to be friendly but are prone to mischief as they explore new settings, often resulting in property damage or just generally annoying the locals, though this is rarely done with malice toward those who are not already trying to hunt the smurfs for their magic. Its more a general obliviousness and often bickering with other smurfs. Many humanoids also find the smurf language somewhat confusing to parse. Smurf is a variant of Common where seemingly random words are replaced with “smurf” or variants such as “smurfing”, “smurfed”, “smurfy”, “smurftastic”, etc. The meanings of these words may be unclear to outsiders, but those fluent in Smurf always understand what each smurf means.
Smurf Names[edit]
Until they reach a leadership position, smurf male names are just a reference to their main gimmick followed by smurf as second word. You should base this name on what skill, tool, or vehicle you select for your Smurf Trait trait. Female smurfs are instead named after flowers with smurf preceding the plant as a single word.
Male: Burgle Smurf, Driver Smurf, Holy Smurf, Scary Smurf, Watch Smurf
Female: Smurfvine, Smurfhydrangea, Smurflilac, Smurfpoppy, Smurfwheat
Smurf Traits[edit]
Tiny blue fey that do smurfy things in their smurf villages, often to the chagrin of non-smurfs.
Ability Score Increase. Your Dexterity score increases by 2 and your Intelligence score increases by 1.
Age. Smurfs reach maturity around 100-150 years old and can live for over 1000 years, though few survive to even middle age.
Alignment. Smurfs tend towards a chaotic neutral alignment.
Size. Your size is Tiny.
Speed. Your base walking speed is 30 feet.
Open Smurf. You have resistance to cold damage.
Smurfberries. You can cast the goodberry spell without a spell slot or material component. Once you cast this spell with this trait, you can’t cast the spell with it again until you finish a long rest. You can also cast this spell using spell slots you have of the appropriate level. Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma is your spellcasting ability for this spell when you cast it with this trait (choose when you select this race).
Smurf-Sighted. You have disadvantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks.
Smurf Song. You have proficiency with the Performance skill.
Smurf with Small Beasts. Through sound and gestures, you may communicate simple ideas with Small or smaller beasts.
Trait Smurf. Choose any skill, tool, or vehicle type. You have expertise with the skill, tool, or vehicle, which means you add double your proficiency bonus to all ability checks you make with it. If you choose Performance, you also gain proficiency with a musical instrument of your choice as well.
Languages. You can speak, read, and write Common, Smurf and Sylvan.
Random Height and Weight[edit]
| Base Height |
Height Modifier* |
Base Weight |
Weight Modifier** |
|---|---|---|---|
| 0′ 2'' | +1d2 | 1 lb. | × 1 lb. |
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*Height = base height + height modifier | |||
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