Jerry Orwood (5e Deity)
From D&D Wiki
Jerry Orwood[edit]
Alignment. Good
Domains. Knowledge, Life
Divine Rank. Greater Deity
History
Birthed in a plane far, far distant from the Forgotten Realms, in a little known village outside of the metropolis of St. Louis, Missouri, Jerry started his life not unlike any other mortal. As a proud graduate of State Fair Community College, Jerry lived a traditional life working as a substitute teacher in his hometown. He even volunteered as a youth soccer coach, nurturing his beloved nieces and nephews all along the way. Through hard work, cunning wit, and above all, an outpouring of altruism, Jerry worked his way up through the world as a teacher of the historical sciences. Jerry was truly loved by those who knew him.
Always looking to give back to the community, Jerry found himself on an unassuming night at a local middle school raffle. He used his traditional strategy of putting one ticket in each raffle basket (with a second ticket in his favorite, "Night at the Movies"). Unfortunately for Jerry, his neighbor Randy came home with the "Night at the Movies" basket. However, Jerry still won a basket, simply labeled "Open in Private". He brought it home laughed it off, and forgot about the ideal - Randy would enjoy the raffle basket he won after all, and Jerry could lay off the popcorn a bit. However, that night when he woke up for a midnight snack, his curiosity piqued - he had to open that basket. He sat down on the couch with a half-gallon of pistachio ice cream, ate a big heaping spoonful, and open the envelope. An overwhelming surge of otherworldly magic burst from the envelope, completely enshrouding Jerry and forcefully pulling him into the envelope.
Jerry was dropped into a small town in the Forgotten Realms on the other end of the envelope. The story of Jerry quickly grew from there - whoever he came across on his travels, he had no issue making friends. Children loved Jerry for his simple humor and unbridled love, young adults were ever impressed with the amount of Bud Heavy he could put down, and the elderly were entranced by the stories of his nieces and nephews - and Jerry had no issue listening to them. Sure, he came across as aloof and unaware of his surroundings; however, he never made enemies on his travels, and began to grow a cult following. Just about every tavern he visited would erect a small shrine in his honor, which only elevated his deified status. Apostles and prophets would blissfully spread the word of Jerry.
The Church of Jerry
Different shrines and makeshift temples portray Jerry as he lived (and continues to live) - Jerry is an average height, slightly overweight man, with long, receding gray hair, a bright Hawaiian shirt tucked into blue bootcut jeans, with a pair of used white New Balance shoes. There is inevitably a large pile of empty Bud Heavy cans in front of the shrines, with small collections of grass clippings from a freshly mowed lawn. In the more prevalent and well-built temples to Jerry, ushers pass out brochures on how to care for a 70 year old two-story home, which have assumed the role as unofficial holy text to the deity, along with free beer can koozies and coupons for the local Tractor Supply Company.
Clerics of Jerry happily spread the word of Jerry to those who are willing to listen. They do their best to assume the appearance of Jerry, donning the appearance of an American tourist. Whether it's Hawaiian Shirts, New Balance Shoes, an oversized fanny pack, newfangled technology known as "cameras" slung around their neck, or any allotment of shirts that proudly display the American flag, Jerry's most devout followers stand out from the crowds. Though they may come across as obnoxious and aloof at first, Jerry's apostles are by all means loving beings who mean the best. They cannot spread wealth to the communities they visit, but they spread love, a listening ear, a helping hand, and important lectures on lawn care and the joys of touring local breweries.
Suggested Channel Divinities
Those clerics who admirably follow Jerry gain access to alternative uses of their Channel Divinity that they acquire at 2nd level. Instead of using the Channel Divinity given to them by their subclass, they can choose to take one of the following Channel Divinities instead.
Channel Divinity: I Know a Guy Who Can Help
Starting at 2nd level, you can summon a person that Jerry had known in his mortal life in the far off plane of Missouri. Over the course of one minute, you choose to summon a Helpful Friend who can give you or a friendly creature advantage on checks in a specified skill for the next 8 hours. However, at any point, if the outcome of your roll is less than 10 (after all bonuses), the helpful friend "has to go grab a special tool back from his shed", and disappears.
The Helpful Friend is only visible to the cleric who summoned them and the person who the Helpful Friend is assisting. The Helpful Friend is immune to all damage and debilitating conditions, but is only able to help with the skill he is a self-described expert in.
Channel Divinity: Dad Grunt
Starting at 2nd level, you can let out a guttural noise of exertion that Jerry would often make when getting up from his La-Z-Boy back home. As a bonus action, you can use the Dad Grunt ability to give yourself brief superhuman abilities. You get advantage on the next attack you make before the end of your turn.
Back to Main Page → 5e Homebrew → Deities
