Falcon Punch (3.5e Feat)

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April Fools!
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Falcon Punch [General]

Your character can hit people with amazing force. The punch creates a field of flame around your fist that is shaped like a falcon. Your fist is protected from this flame but it is harmful to others around you.
Prerequisite: Improved Unarmed Strike, Weapon Focus (Unarmed Strike), Power Attack, ability to speak Common
Benefit: You can perform Falcon Punches.

A Falcon Punch is a full-round action that provokes an attack of opportunity. You start by focusing power in your fist as you say "Falcon..." Then you punch forward with all your might as you yell "PAAAWNCH". The yelling is essential and you cannot perform a Falcon Punch if you are voiceless (for instance, under the influence of a Silence spell). It is always spoken in Common so you must know Common. If you take damage from enemy attacks of opportunity while trying to do a Falcon Punch, you must make a DC 10 + X Concentration check (where X is equal to the total damage you took from these attacks) or the Falcon Punch is lost and you will have wasted your turn.
The Falcon Punch has the following effects:

  1. It is treated as a usual unarmed strike, but it deals lethal damage instead of nonlethal damage.
  2. Your target takes an additional 10d6 points of Force damage and 5d6 points of Fire damage. Your target only takes the Force damage if you succeeded on the attack roll, but always takes the Fire damage as long as your Falcon Punch wasn't interrupted by attacks of opportunity or similar effects.
  3. Anything and anyone that is adjacent to both you AND your target also takes the Fire damage (the same amount as was rolled for the target), regardless of whether you succeeded on the attack roll.
  4. Your target is knocked backwards some distance (but only if you succeeded on the attack roll): This is treated as throwing your target. Any victim of this effect must also make a DC 15 Reflex save or be rendered prone. If the victim's backward movement is stopped by something, such as a wall, he or she takes an additional 3d6 damage that is treated as falling damage. Make a str. check (Max throwing distance + Str. mod) to see if you send the target threw the wall. If so, divide the distance that the target would go normally (Max throwing divided by 2 divided by HP of the wall).
  5. If your target is pregnant and you succeeded on the attack roll, any embryos/fetuses/eggs must succeed on a DC 20 Fortitude save or be irrevocably destroyed.
  6. If you succeded in your attack roll, any creature within 30ft of you must make a DC 20 Will save or be stunned by your awesomeness by one round.
  7. After you perform your Falcon Punch, and only if you succeeded on the attack roll, your character must pose and say "Show ya moves!" If any nearby enemies have Combat Reflexes or a similar effect, they get a second attack of opportunity against you. Taking that attack of opportunity is considered dishonorable by all but the most despicable villains, though.
Falcon Punch has a cooldown time of 1d4 rounds, you must wait that long after a Falcon Punch before you can perform another. For the purposes of adjudicating magic suppressing effects, the punch is treated as a supernatural ability.
Normal: You are not incredibly awesome.
Special: A Fighter may select this as one of his Fighter Bonus Feats.

References

Falcon Punch meme


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