April Fools 5e Weapons

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This list of homebrew content includes nonmagical weapons that were made on D&D Wiki for 5e, but are specifically intended to be comedic—or "joke weapons". Due to their nature, these weapons may not be balanced or otherwise suited for a normal campaign.

Simple Melee Weapons[edit]

Simple Melee Weapons Cost Damage Weight Properties
Badass Knife 2d4 piercing or slashing 2 lb. Armor piercing (-2), finesse, light, thrown (range 30/90), special
Battle Pan 2 gp 1d4 Bludgeoning 3 lb. Light, Versatile (1d6), Special
Frozen Fish 2 sp 1d8 bludgeoning 10 lb. Two-handed
Kabong 1 gp 1d4 bludgeoning 5 lbs. Heavy, Special
Thumb 0 gp 0 Psychic 0 lb. Light, special

Simple Ranged Weapons[edit]

Simple Ranged Weapons Cost Damage Weight Properties
B-Ball 2 gp 1d6 bludgeoning 1 lb. Thrown (Range 50/100)
The Shotgun Pistol 15 gp 6d8 piercing 2 lb. Light

Martial Melee Weapons[edit]

Martial Melee Weapons Cost Damage Weight Properties
A True Katana 25 gp 2d6 slashing 3 lb. Finesse, Light, Versatile(2d8)
Springloaded Lance 45 gp 1d12 piercing 8 lb. Special, reach
Towel 15 gp 1d8 Piercing 1 lb. Light, Finesse, special

Martial Ranged Weapons[edit]

Martial Ranged Weapons Cost Damage Weight Properties
Greatsword Sniper Rifle 275 gp 3d6 piercing 7 lb. Ammunition, Ranged (300/1200), Heavy, Two-Handed, Special
Longsword Minigun 250 gp 1d8 piercing 8 lb. Ammunition, Ranged (30/120), Heavy, Two-Handed, Special
Monkey Launcher 1776 gp 3d8 slashing 10 lb. Ammunition (range 150/600), heavy, two-handed
Pig Parang 15 gp 2d4 Slashing 6 light, special
Semi-auto Blowgun 69 gp 1 piercing 3 lb. Ammunition, Ranged (25/100 ft.) Reload (20 shots), Special.
UNO Reverse Card 1 gp 1d8 cold, fire, thunder, necrotic. .1 lb Light, Finesse, Thrown (range 20/60 ft.)

Ammunition[edit]

Ammunition Cost Weight



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