User:Kara/The Communist Manifesto

Design Note: As the tone of writing hopefully conveys, this is not 100 % serious. See it as a practical exercise in illustrating why you should not make pages that only serve to turn player characters into things that are your personal fetish. Except the part on Feminists and LGBTQI* rights, who i unconditionally support. I have seen way too much articles obsessed with controlling, exploiting or hurting women on this wiki.

	April Fools!This content is not designed for use in regular games, and may affect overall balance and gameplay. Take caution when using this material.

The Communist Manifesto

Written by the brilliant philosopher Karl Marx, this book explains the fundamentals of class war, the exploitation of the working class by the owner class and how the workers can defeat their capitalist exploiters. Somehow, it has found its way into the multiverse of dungeons and dragons. Any humanoid that is or was part of the working class, for example a character of the folk hero, guild artisan, or sailor background, is automatically compelled by the provocative and bold cover to pick this book up and read it. Any character of the working class who reads this book becomes a communist, since they realize their material position and because this work is so brilliantly written, no coherent arguments can be formulated against it. They renounce their gods and status in society, now only working to bring on the communist revolution and the dictatorship of the proletariat. If they were a paladin or cleric, they now draw power from the solidarity of the working class. This solidarity transcends time and space and so they can access it even if no working class has been established on an industrial, organized scale.

In addition, they become a feminist.

If they were a druid, barbarian or have any chaotic alignment, they become an anarcho-communist instead of a communist.

Bankers are immune to the effect of this book.

Also, after spending 12 hours reading this book (Marx was such a brilliant author that it’s that easy to memorize), you gain the following abilities, forever:

• You can no longer be charmed by the bourgeoisie

• You have memorized the book in its entirety and can replicate it at any time.

• As an action, you can cause every creature that can see you and is part of the working class to go a general strike against its exploiters.

• Turn capitalists. You can recite a single word of the book and every capitalist in your presence screeches, melts and than explodes 5 minutes afterwards.

There is no saving throw, spell or ability that can prevent, avert, or revert any of this, since becoming a communist is a strict improvement.