Talking Earwig (5e Creature)
From D&D Wiki
Tiny beast, chaotic evil
Damage Vulnerabilities bludgeoning
Poke. Melee Weapon Attack: +0 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 1 piercing damage.
Sarcasm.Ranged Weapon Attack: +100 to hit, reach 120 ft., one target. Hit: Instant death from hurt feelings.
A talking earwig is possibly the most evil beast in all creation. With scathing wit and impenetrable shell, it easily overpowers armies one by one. And it does it all unseen why nestled in some saps ear.