Talk:O'korn (5e Race)

Thanks for all the feedback, this was my first time creating a race and I am quite new to it. I will heavily edit and revise this race to better balance it.

I have adressed the issue of age by giving a restriction to the maximum age and have further elaborated on the names and conventions for naming.

I noticed that I had forgotten to add a limit to the Soldier O'korns survival trait and added one as needed.

Crashing waves is no longer free damage and is instead a command spell to better fit the flavor of command of the waves.

Sea Raid Tactics is no longer advantage against targets in water but instead an exemption from the negative effects of water combat.

I have also adressed the issue of proficiency in sailing and made the Waterspeaker's Cantrip selections to any 2 from the wizard or sorcerer spell lists. I also elaborated on water whip being the monk ability but limited its usage to once per long rest since it does not have a Ki cost as a waterspeaker spell.

I also went and rectified a series of mis-capitalizations and spelling errors around the page. I was typing this on my phone while creating it.

Aight. Good luck. —ConcealedLight (talk) 06:08, 28 October 2018 (MDT)

Also, I recommend putting some of these in to improve the page while you're at it. 5e Race Design Guide#Referencing. —ConcealedLight (talk) 06:10, 28 October 2018 (MDT)

I have changed Sea's Swiftness so that it isn't simply a better rogue dash, making it a blend of movement and attack. I have removed the brackets from the descriptions of Waterspeakers abilities and made it so Soldiers only gain proficiency in Artisan's tools. Ability scores have been properly capitalized and I have addressed the whole "can't drown" issue by explaining that they have water breathing.I have made water blade a bonus action just to summon and a ranged attack action to attack with. A bonus action for free ranged damage does seem rather dumb now that I think about it.

ALL RIGHT, I've done a complete overhaul regarding the template by actually using the {{ and trait1='s to get this page looking as good as possible. At first I didnt know how to do it becauae I had accidently deleted all the code text. But I looked at the Alruane's resource document and it showed me the path. If anything else needs any attention let me know, otherwise I think we're good to go.

I have but one final issue. On the race lists page there is a small description next to each race's link; how do I go about making one of those summaries?

This is much better and I've touched up a few things. There are still a few issues:

• Command of the Sea. Is vague and doesn't seem to have any mechanical benefit. If the intent is to be able to control weather and control water then this simply can't be done on a race.
• Crushing Wave. Should probably be like the dragonborn's breath weapon in damage scaling. If it knocks a creature prone they should also be able to make a save.
• Wave Magic. Gaining one cantrip from the sorcerer spell list should be fine as it doesn't make much sense to draw from the wizards. Water whip should be written in full here so a player desn't have to flip to the monk to find the ability.
• Worker's Proficiency. Should be one artisan tool not all 17 of them.
• It shouldn't be "once per long rest" as I said in the template, it should be "You can use this once and can use it again when you complete a long rest" Complete being the key word there as long rests can be interrupted.
• Hard Days Work. The dwarf's toughness trait should be the wording for this as by this wording only your hit points increase not your hit point maximum.
• Tidal Rush. Should be single use and short rest. Tthe Dc shouldn't be a flat amount it should be based on 8 + your proficiency bonus + your Constitution modifier.
• Sea's Favor. the wording is funky here see the triton for the water breathing trait.
• Water Blade. Round counting shouldn't be used it should have a duration of 1 minute. Also have it recharge on a short rest as well.

That's most of it for now. —ConcealedLight (talk) 07:25, 30 October 2018 (MDT)

Thanks, will do when I get the chance. Race creation seems to have a great many hoops to jump through.

Alright, i did as you said, i changed Command of the Seas to Command of the Waters to make it a minor version of Control Water that cant be used as an attack or to flood. It simply moves or parts. I also changed the Long/Short rest wording and made Crashing Waves a line attack, nerfed the range, and gave it damage scaling and a save to resist being knocked prone. Worker's Proficiency is now just 5 tools, the hands on construction tools, to better fit the lore of Soldiers also being the handymen and workers. Wave Magics is just sorcerer now, and i wrote out the description of Monk's Water Whip. Hard Day's Work is now Toughness and worded correctly. Tidal Rush is now single use, requires a save to resist being knocked prone, and recharges after a short rest. Water Blade has correct wording, limited to uses equal to your Proficiency Modifier and recharges after a short rest.

I think we're done finally, haha.

Alright, Wave Magics is now the ability Wave Whip which has damage scaling and no more cantrip choice, Command of the Waters is a swim speed buff that lasts a minute and recharges after a long rest. Worker's Proficiency is now an OR rather than an AND in terms of tool proficiency. There was a syntax error in Tidal Rush that I fixed also. I do like the idea of Bless being royal aura, and I do like the change to Tidal Rush.

Should be good now. —ConcealedLight (talk) 22:01, 1 November 2018 (MDT)