Talk:Metalborn (4e Race)

A Few Things

• Ability Scores: This should really be just two stats, I would stick to Strength and Constitution as it makes the most sense (with a +2 to each of course).
• Size: Large sized PC races are a huge balance issue. WotC has nixed this for very good reasons (so many it would fill this page to cover them all), they need to be made Medium.
• Speed: You gave them a speed of 7? This dosen't seem very "living metalish" of them. A speed of 5 or maybe 6 would be believable and seem more in line with them. And the Teleport just seems completely out of place, I would change this into their racial power (removing Metal Strike) or just drop it completly. In the end having it as a tossed in at-will form of movement completely breaks the race. Not even Epic level Eladrin Wizards can do this.
• Languages: I would just drop Methropial, it really isn't needed if the Metalborn speak a varient of Dwarven and Common. Those two mlanguages will carry them far.
• Skill Bonuses: Again I know you want to give them a bonus in all the skills you envision them having, but 4 +1 modifiers is just unprecidented. You should narrow it down to 2 skills that get a +2. You want to strive to balance your race with all other 4e races, a new race should not vary in standards or overshadow all other races. That is the old 3.5 "newer must equal better" syndrome that really made that edition become over top-heavy and need a complete overhaul. We want to avoid doing that again.
• Steel Mind and Body: This is a powerful ability, and like the Teleport just seems out of place for this race. Although in truth I like the idea but maybe it should read something like; "Once per encounter as a Minor Action you can grant all allies within line of sight a +2 bonus to thier Will and Fortitude defenses until the end of your next turn."
• Metal Strike: This power works fine at Heroic levels, but it quickly falls off at Paragon and Epic levels. It should scale. I wrote this "fusing" in the teleport effect for flavor:

Metal Strike	Metalborn Racial Power
As your foe strikes at you with his blade,you channel your fury,and with the hiss of burning metal,your fist turns into a steel sword.
Encounter  Martial, Healing, Teleportation
Immediate Reaction	Melee 1
Trigger: You are hit by a melee attack.
Effect: Make a Str Vs. AC attack: Hit: 1d10 + Stength modifier damage, and you heal hit points equal to the amount of damage caused by this attack. Miss: You cause and heal half damage.
Special: After making this attack you can Teleport 1 + your Wisdom modifier squares.

• Fluff: Lastly I would say this race needs some serious fluffing. There has to be more to the entry in order to really "sell" the race to potential players. The more intresting you can make the concept sound the better. Also you may want to work on formatting the article better so it looks cleaner and follows the standard layout of the other races.

Thank you for your time. -- Sepsis 16:05, 5 March 2009 (MST)

I just stumbled onto this page and it looks good, but it has some issues. Since no one takes credit for this race I will improve it a little bit. --chihuahua0 15:36, 19 May 2009 (MDT)