Talk:Abandoned (5e Background)
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May I ask, Who replaced the Deception proficiency with Arcana?[edit]
I tried to make it work, then, but it still makes no sense as to why it was changed in the first place. ~I'm nae gonna be judged by some..Mustached, Hatless, Hood-Wearin', Castle Dwellin', Statue Posin', Ticket Givin', PECK NECK!~ (talk) 20:30, 2 August 2018 (MDT)
Review, As Requested[edit]
The fluff is a single sentence followed by a couple of questions. It gives no impression of the archetypal story or character this is intended to represent. At present, it is so vague that it is too broad for any of the mechanical qualities to be justified. Why would a person who was abandoned as a child develop any particular proficiencies over any other?
Choose a tool proficiency category and stick to it. As it is, you might as well have said "choose proficiency with any tool on the list of tools in the PHB".
Why do they get to know an exotic language? What about being left alone by someone who was supposed to protect you would bring your character into contact with extraplanar or saturnian cultures long enough to become fluent in their speech?
Magic items are completely unjustified as being included, and I cannot see how even the lowest utility uncommon item is within the power range typically held for a background. The gear loadout lacks any roleplaying items.
The features don't actually do anything in the game. They're more like a personality trait.
Some of the traits/ideals/bonds/flaws are dysfunctional behaviors at the table. (Especially the one about causing arbitrary chaos) They should be refined somewhat.
Resolution: There's an idea in here, somewhere. There's potential. But right now, this feels like a rough draft. I recommend you read Background Design (5e Guideline) and take a second pass at this. Remember, the audience aren't mind readers. It might feel boring a tedious writing out detailed explanations for ideas that feel obvious to you, but it will benefit your audience greatly.
--Kydo (talk) 12:17, 16 December 2018 (MST)
