Social Justice Warrior (3.5e Template)
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Social Justice Warrior[edit]
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Nothing strikes terror into the hearts of fascists more than the social justice warrior. Well, maybe not terror, but... something...
Throughout the planes, there are those who feel a calling, of sorts - an intense, deep-seated need to become a champion of the down-trodden and the oppressed; the weak and the helpless. These individuals are often called 'paladins' - the rest become social justice warriors. A social justice warrior, at its core, is a person or creature possessed of such a high opinion of their moral superiority over others that they are often unable (or simply unwilling) to acknowledge that they almost invariably do more harm than good. This profound lack of self-awareness and general inability to recognize (or accept the blame for) the negative consequences of their actions typically leads to them quickly becoming outcasts wherever they go - which they tend to see as a sign that their 'heroic efforts' simply have yet to be recognized.
The origin of the old adage "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions" is often attributed to social justice warriors, and for good reason. While a paladin might slay a band of orcs that brutally pillages the countryside simply to make the world a better place, a social justice warrior will attempt to shame the orcs' victims into feeling guilty for denying the orcs a crucial part of their cultural heritage, as well as somehow try to imply that they are responsible for the marauding demihumans' behaviour in the first place. Then, when the villagers harassed by the orcs attempt to make 'reparations' at the social justice warrior's request and are, unsurprisingly, slaughtered without mercy, they fail to understand how anyone could be angry with them for "trying to make them understand their privilege." Wherever they go, social justice warriors strive demonstrate that they care more deeply and passionately than anyone else about the problems of the common folk while simultaneously demonizing them for being "crude, ignorant fascists, bigots and general scum."
Creating a social justice warrior[edit]
Social justice warrior is an acquired template that can be applied to any creature with an Intelligence score of 5 or more but no more than 9. Also, characters of 3rd-level or higher or beings with more than 4 racial HD cannot become social justice warriors, as most creatures are simply too rational at that point to succumb to such degeneracy. One typically becomes a social justice warrior after failing to understand a very simple yet crucial aspect of reality that even the most slow-witted among their species tends to understand with relative ease. For example, a soon-to-be human social justice warrior may spontaneously devolve into one upon witnessing humans 'mistreating' a gnome who, unbeknownst to her, had just murdered six people, therefore misinterpreting the action as a 'random act of hatred.' Another might be denied a loan despite having a reputation as a chronic gambler but instead decides to blame both their own gambling problem and and the unwillingness of the loaner on a 'corrupt, greedy society' rather than take responsibility for their own actions. In general, any time a creature does something so incomprehensibly stupid and lacking in common sense and understanding of the world around them, they run the risk of becoming a social justice warrior.
Size and Type[edit]
Size and type are unchanged.
Hit Dice[edit]
Re-calculate the social justice warrior's hit points by re-rolling all HD using the original values with the adjusted Constitution score. This represents the social justice warrior's deep lack of self-awareness in that they are as likely to overestimate their own vitality as they are to underestimate it. The social justice warrior's new HP total may meet but cannot exceed its previous one. If the total of its new HP is greater than it was before acquiring the template, then any excess hit points are not added.
Speed[edit]
A social justice warrior's speed is unchanged under most circumstances (see below).
Armor Class[edit]
A social justice warrior's AC is unchanged, with the following exceptions: - A social justice warrior gains an AC penalty equal to their Charisma modifier (even if positive), demonstrating such an intense, blissful ignorance of the dangers around them that reality itself recoils in apprehension at the staggering obliviousness of such a being. Regardless of the actual penalty, a social justice warrior always has an inherent -2 penalty to all forms of AC. - Every time a a critical hit is confirmed against a social justice warrior, they receive a cumulative -1 penalty to AC. A standard hit that does more than 5 points of damage + the SJW's Wisdom modifier confers a cumulative -1 penalty to AC for every point of their Wisdom modifier. These penalties last until the next combat encounter, at which point they are reset and must be redetermined.
Attack[edit]
A social justice warrior is proficient with all simple melee weapons but not ranged, reach or double weapons, nor can they ever become proficient with them. However, overconfidence and moral hubris leads them to be somewhat ineffective with even the simplest of weapons (i.e, one's own fists), resulting in a penalty equal to double their Charisma modifier (even if it is positive) to all attack and damage rolls. Previous weapon proficiency is selectively retained with one weapon per point of Intelligence bonus (i.e. a 2nd-level fighter with an Intelligence of 15 becomes so confident in his use of simple weapons as well as his trusty halberd and longbow passed down through his family that he never again bothers to learn how to use other weapons). However, the blind, hateful violence of a social justice warrior is so intense that they can never automatically fail a melee attack with a natural roll of 1 (it is instead treated as a result of 2). Of course, their attempts at violence are often so feeble, that their ability to always strike true (despite what little effect it may have) makes little to no difference against all but the most feeble opponents.
Full Attack[edit]
Unchanged, except that a social justice warrior gets one less attack per round (weapons with the speed enhancement are unaltered) due to their belief that they can overcome any opponent with minimal effort and their inevitable shock and disbelief when this turns out to not be the case, and all attacks receive a penalty equal to their Charisma modifier (even if positive). This includes the extra attack granted by the spell haste and similar effects, whether magical, psionic or otherwise.
Special Attacks[edit]
A social justice warrior retains all of the base creature's special attacks, except as follows:
Check your privilege (Su): As many times as a social justice justice warrior can make eye contact with others in one round, all of them are subjected to a mild compulsion to reflect on how their own privileges affect their daily lives and disadvantage marginalized peoples. Anyone who makes eye contact with an SJW (50% to avert eyes +20% per 2 points of base Reflex bonus; maximum 100%) and fails their save must spend 1d4 rounds reflecting upon how they can better themselves, after which they realize that they have been duped and seek out the social justice warrior with a murderous fury, making a Will save every day after being subjected to this ability until succeeding at a DC 30 Will save to finally realize that they just aren't worth the trouble.
Persecute (Su): Once per day, as a full-round action, a social justice warrior may target a seemingly random individual and accuse them of some heinous crime, regardless of whether or not there is actually any evidence to support it one way or the other. Any being with an Intelligence score of 12 or higher is unaffected, but for those with a lower score, this ability incurs a Will save (DC 1 + 1/2 the SJW's HD + their Charisma modifier, with a minimum Charisma modifier bonus of +0) once per day per HD of the social justice warrior after they are subjected to the ability but having initially failed it. Anyone who resists this ability not only becomes immune to it, but further attempts at persecution (mundane or otherwise) by the initial social justice warrior not only automatically fail, but result in immediate ostracism and violent attempts to end their life unti the SJW is too far out of their general range to be considered a valid target for their wrath.
Smite Fascist (Sp): As a full-round action that provokes attacks of opportunity, a social justice warrior who makes a DC 25 Wisdom check with a successful melee attack can deal an additional 1 point of damage per point of Wisdom bonus. A failed Wisdom check provokes an attack of opportunity from every character and creature of a different alignment withing reach.
Tantrum (Ex): This ability is identical to a barbarian's Rage class feature except, instead of increases in physiological abilities (+4 Strength/Constitution, etc.), they take an equivalent penalty in mental attributes (Intelligence and Wisdom, specifically) and a penalty to AC equal to their Wisdom modifier + 10 (minimum AC 0), in addition to dealing only non-lethal damage on account of such blindly and ineffective flailing that it is impossible to strike a proper blow against one's enemies. This ability may be used once per day per HD of the social justice warrior but, unlike the barbarian, triggering this state is often involuntary and, every time the SJW fails a Will save, Intelligence or Charisma-based skill check or any other skill check, they must make a DC 25 Will save or throw a tantrum. A social justice warrior throwing a tantrum deals non-lethal damage regardless of what weapons or supernatural abilities (including spells and psionics) that they may or may not be using.
Special Qualities[edit]
A social justice warrior retains all of the base creature's special and gains the following ones:
I can't even (Ex): Any social justice warrior subjected to a spell, psionic power or other 'mental' ability receives a -10 penalty on the save and all related checks. In addition, not only does their Wisdom modifier not apply to such checks (such as will saves), but double their intelligence bonus is applied as a penalty (such as even the simplest Knowledge check).
Literally shaking (Ex): Due to the constant, irrational fear that the world is somehow against them, the perpetual, fear-induced shivering of a social justice warrior renders them rather vulnerable to harm, negating any natural armour bonus and preventing them from benefiting from a bonus to AC from Dexterity, feats, racial/class abilities that improve Initiative like 'Improved Initiative' or anything that would improve one's AC due to agility-based enhancements.
That's problematic (Su): Whenever a social justice warrior fails a Will save, its mind enters a psychologically-induced, existential, hell-like realm in which physiological norms function in reverse - in other words, if one accepts that the force of gravity is directed towards the centre of the nearest object with the greatest mass, then one with said belief will drift away from such an object until environmental factors pull it back in (with 1d6 points of damage per 20' of movement/10d6 max). Also, failed saves against spells, psionics or other abilities instead result in a success on the part of the caster/manifester.
That's Racist (Ex): Once per day, a social justice warrior may choose a creature of another but similar type (for example, a human SJW may choose a human, halfling, orc, dwarf or hobgoblin but not a beholder, illithid, red dragon, neogi or ethereal marauder), followed by a specific skill. For the next 1 round + the SJW's Intelligence modifier (minimum +0 bonus; 1-round minimum), the target takes a -1 penalty on Charisma-related checks. This ability cannot be used if the social justice warrior's Charisma modifier is +0 or less.
Abilities[edit]
-2 STR, -2 CON, -6 INT, -10 WIS, -4 CHA
Social justice warriors are chronic whiners with little to no experience with interacting with the outside world and those who dwell within it. When they first encounter someone who disagrees with them on even the most trivial subject, a social justice warrior immediately activates their Tantrum ability and fights to the death. Then, should they survive, they wonder why other species don't want to interact with them...
Skills[edit]
-12 to all Intelligence/Wisdom-based checks, -12 Knowledge (with previous -12 penalty), - 10 Listen, Search, Spot, -10 Craft/Profession checks; Spellcraft and Use Magic Device checks automatically fail.
Feats[edit]
Social justice warriors never receive bonus feats at all, whether as first-level characters, racial bonuses or experienced veterans; social justice warriors receive standard feats at 1st-level but cannot ever gain any more except as standard at every third character level (ECL is part of this equation, as usual).
Environment[edit]
Wherever they feel they can survive
Organization[edit]
None (social justice warriors often form brief alliances, but their naturally divisive nature forces them to attack each other within a matter of days, if not hours, and they tend to leave no survivors during such 'disagreements').
Challenge Rating[edit]
-5 Social justice warriors are invariably focused on self-destructive tendencies, making it easy for their enemies to manipulate them into positions which makes it far simpler for their enemies to eliminate them.
Treasure[edit]
Social justice warriors place value on the most bizarre of objects and, due to this eccentricity, they typically have only 1/10 of the treasure of equivalent creatures, but with a 10% chance to have triple treasure.
Alignment[edit]
While many social justice warriors appear to adhere to a strict doctrine, thus implying a lawful mentality, they are all, in fact, quite insane, and what one may hold sacred one day will be anathema the next; therefore, social justice warriors are universally chaotic, but none of them can ever muster the compassion or civility to ever be considered good, and are almost invariably chaotic evil or chaotic neutral.
Advancement[edit]
Social justice warriors do not advance; in fact, they are lucky that they do not regularly find themselves to have regressed in terms of evolution.
Level Adjustment[edit]
-10
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