Pole Of Whacking (5e Optimized Character Build)
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Summary[edit]
Two-in-one: Funny on level of "dedicated April's Fools Day joke pages" - yet also seriously trying to make the most overpowered weapon, whether or not it's RAW-possible (or RAI-possible for that matter).
Wanting to optimize the "Reach Fighter" type be weaponizing the legendary "11-Foot Pole". Generally, could also be used in any other Edition.
Weapon Abilities[edit]
Take and use the longest pole you can find; it should be, at least, 10-11 feet. We're going to hammer our enemies into the ground with that pole - swinging it around ridiculously large times per turn, like rotating helicopter rotor.
Such long Pole would be improvised weapon. It bears resemblance to actual weapon - Greatclub, and Quarterstaff wielded two-handed; therefore, Pole would deal at least 1d8 bludgeoning damage - most likely, even more, since Pole is considerably bigger. Pole is Two-Handed; Pole is also a Polearm (since it's just like oversized Quarterstaff - and bigger than other Polearms like Halberd, Glaive and Pike; and Pole fits all Polearm characteristics like length and being on very long haft).
But most notably, Pole is long - and would be "super-reach-weapon" of sorts. Reach of it would be (arms length, aka Normal strike distance + Pole length) - so, for Medium Humanoid, it would mean (5+11)=16 Feet of Reach. It could become even bigger if we take bigger pole: 16, 21, 26, 31, 36, 41 feet Poles, etc. Pole weights about 0.7 lbs per foot, and costs 0.5CP per foot - so, for example, 26-feet Pole would weight 18.2 lbs (roughly like Pike and Heavy Crossbow - so, within range of what can be wielded).
"How can you swing that thing?" - It's heroic fantasy, and it has weapons more physically implausible (and IRL-impractical) than this Pole (e.g. "Double Weapons"). Physics aren't our own - like, Square-Cube Law doesn't work like ours (so utterly massive creatures don't crumble under their own weight). And lastly, this Pole would, most likely, be wielded by melee specialist, what tend to have high Strengh - what would explain how they can swing it around in the first place.
Possibly, we could modernize our Pole a little bit. For example, add spikes, (small) blades, metal reinforcements and/or metal hook to it - to increase damage dice, and to make it easier to grab and trip enemies.
Modernized Pole with spiky spear/pike bit on it's end, would be just as long - but would deal 1d10 piercing damage, since it's resembling oversized Pike. And it would work somewhat like extra-long pike-like weapon. It would still have (arms length + Pole length) reach - e.g. 16 feet for 11-foot Pole. These rules could optionally be applied to Pike, to buff it's reach to historical lenght.
Tactics[edit]
Even 11-foot pole is still better than Halberd or Glaive. Pole's dice is lower, but Reach is higher - that gives you unprecedented battlefield control. Due to longer Reach, you have more Attacks of Opportunity - when Halberd can swing 2 times, 11-foot Pole can swing 3 or more times. But really, you should find the longest pole available - since longer pole have bigger Reach.
For extra broken-ness, give this Pole to melee character with Sentinel, Polearm Master, and Great Weapon Master. That would allow to make extra attacks, and stop enemies movement.
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