Not Dwarf (5e Race)

	April Fools!This content is not designed for use in regular games, and may affect overall balance and gameplay. Take caution when using this material.

Not Dwarf

While the name may make it sound like a subrace, these are Not Dwarves. They are a distinct and entirely new race.

Physical Description

Physically, a Not Dwarf would look a lot like a Dwarf of standard variety if not for a few major exceptions. Perhaps most notably, the magic that created Not Dwarves removed their ability to grow beards. In fact, most Not Dwarves are entirely hairless, which, given their squat and robust stature, makes them look a bit like mole rats. In addition, Not Dwarves have long, hard, shovel-like fingernails, perfect for burrowing. Skin color is always monochromatic, and ranges from pure albino to jet black. Typically a Not Dwarf will have red or black eyes, but approximately one-third are without pupils. How they manage to see is a mystery, as much of the origin story is.

History

Ever since the discovery of the very first underground colony, and the subsequent knowledge of vast civilizations below the surface, some unlucky Dwarves have been subject to magical genetic experimentation. Perhaps surprisingly, these experiments didn't render these creatures sterile. The offspring of these warped and magically corrupt souls, while known to very few outside of the Not Dwarf "civilization," is a particularly cantankerous Dwarf-like creature, which is not exactly a Dwarf at all, but the end-product of mad "science."

Society

Not Dwarves tend to live in small, isolated clans deep in the Underdark. They are not in the least bit friendly to outsiders and prefer to live and die beneath the surface, however, very rarely a Not Dwarf might venture up toward the crust in search of resources or perhaps upon some dark quest.

Not Dwarf Names

Not Dwarves use the Undercommon language, and therefore typically have names closely related to those of the Drow.

Male: Guldor, Istoril, Erennan

Female: Chanda, Alysh, Zarra

Not Dwarf Traits

Not Dwarves are...NOT DWARVES! The result of magical genetic experimentation, they are a corruption of underdwellers, part Drow, part Dwarf, part Mole Rat.
Ability Score Increase. +1 Intelligence
Age. Relatively short-lived by comparison to other races. Not Dwarves mature quickly, reaching adulthood at around 15 and live harsh, quick lives of about 50 years.
Alignment. Almost always evil. So much shame and resentment have built up over centuries it is for all intents and purposes inherent at birth.
Size. Medium
Speed. Your base walking speed is 30 feet.
Superior Darkvision. You can see in darkness as if it were dim light up to 60 feet and in dim light as if it were bright light up to 120 feet.
Burrow. Not Dwarves are master diggers, and can burrow without tools, up to their walking speed of 30ft.
Magic Remnants. The magic that corrupted you still runs in your veins. At 5th level, you gain (and can cast 1/rest) one 2nd level spell of your choice from the following: Darkness, Locate Object, See Invisibility. This spell cannot be changed at any time, except under extreme circumstances as prescribed by the DM.
Languages. Common, Undercommon, Dwarvish

Random Height and Weight

Table: Not Dwarf Random Height and Weight

Base Height	Height Modifier	Base Weight	Weight Modifier
3′ 5″	+1d12	65 lb.	× 1d4 lb.

---

Back to Main Page → 5e Homebrew → Races