Hooker (3.5e Class)

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April Fools!
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We've all seen them, the scantily clad women leaning over talking to men in carriages, and running away from the sounds of the guard's footsteps. Concubines are as common in most towns as blacksmiths and tax collectors. Some Concubines specialize in certain disciplines, becoming true masters of their art, and others are just doing it for a little while to pay their way through Sorcery School. Either way, the tactics and abilities that a Concubine picks up during her "on-the-job training" can be applied to countless combat and diplomatic situations. Some adventuring parties find having a Concubine in their party a serious drawback, and others find it a huge advantage.

Making a Concubine[edit]

Abilities: Charisma is the most important attribute of any Concubine. However, most Concubines will tell you that Dexterity is also very beneficial in their line of work. Constitution can help Concubines ward off inevitable infections, and anyone living on the streets is recommended to have some Strength. Intelligence and Wisdom tend to be the lower stats of most prostitutes, and let's face it, almost all the people with high wisdom scores don't resort to street walking.

Races: Any race; Humans and Half-Elves are the most common Concubines. Full blooded Elves generally have too much self-respect to be prostitutes, but if you can find a elven ,or other exotic race, Concubine usually she's worth the extra cost (do make sure she's actually a she before you show the coin, sometimes it's hard to tell with elves). Gnomes and halflings make better Concubines than dwarves and half-orcs, but that isn't much of an accomplishment.

Alignment: Always Chaotic. Few, if any, cities have legalized prostitution. Even in cities where prostitution is legal, Concubines tend to work outside the system, and under a complex bureaucracy of pimps.

Gender: At first level a Concubine must identify with a particular gender, and dress accordingly. For all traits pertaining to gender, treat her as the gender she dresses, which may not necessarily be her true gender. Some people like surprises.

Starting Gold: 5d4x10 (125 gp)

Starting Age: Simple.

Table: The Hooker

Hit Die: d8

Level Base
Attack Bonus
Saving Throws Special
Fort Ref Will
1st +0 +0 +2 +2 Chaotic Cans 2/day 2d4, Distracting Cleavage, Spells
2nd +1 +0 +3 +3 Chaotic Cans 3d4, Payday
3rd +2 +1 +3 +3 What Did You Call Me?! 1/day
4th +3 +1 +4 +4 Chaotic Cans 4d4 3/day, Free Hugs
5th +3 +1 +4 +4 Get Low
6th +4 +2 +5 +5 Chaotic Cans 5d4, Turn a Blind Eye
7th +5 +2 +5 +5 She be trippin'
8th +6/+1 +2 +6 +6 Chaotic Cans 6d4 4/day, What Did You Call Me?! 2/day
9th +6/+1 +3 +6 +6 Unrivaled Streetwalker
10th +7/+2 +3 +7 +7 Chaotic Cans 7d4, Familiar with Tongues
11th +8/+3 +3 +7 +7 Sometimes I Fake it
12th +9/+4 +4 +8 +8 Chaotic Cans 8d4 5/day, What Did You Call Me?! 3/day
13th +9/+4 +4 +8 +8 He Kept Me Up All Night
14th +10/+5 +4 +9 +9 Chaotic Cans 9d4
15th +11/+6/+1 +5 +9 +9 He Kept the Pimp Hand Strong
16th +12/+7/+2 +5 +10 +10 Chaotic Cans 10d4 6/day, What Did You Call Me?! 4/day
17th +12/+7/+2 +5 +10 +10 Double Team
18th +13/+8/+3 +6 +11 +11 Chaotic Cans 11d4
19th +14/+9/+4 +6 +11 +11 Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
20th +15/+10/+5 +6 +12 +12 Chaotic Cans 12d4 7/day, What Did You Call Me?! 5/day, World's Oldest Profession

Class Skills (8 + Int modifier per level, ×4 at 1st level)
Bluff (Cha), Disguise (Cha), Gather Information (Cha, Handle Animal (Cha), Knowledge (Opposite gender) (Int), Knowledge (Local) (Int), Listen (Wis), Profession (Prostitute) (Wis), Ride (Dex), Sleight of Hand (Dex), Spot (Wis) Survival (Wis), Tumble (Dex), Use Rope (Dex).

Class Features[edit]

All of the following are class features of the Hooker.

Weapon and Armor Proficiency: Concubines are proficient with simple weapons, the sap, and her acrylic nails, but not with any type of armor or shield. Armor of any type interferes with a Concubine’s movement, which impedes on their ability to seduce.

Concubines gain the natural attack Scratch, which uses five acrylic nails on each hand. A Concubine's scratch does 1d2 piercing, or slashing, non-lethal damage. Acrylic nails threaten a critical on 20, which does x2 damage. However, the additional damage of a critical has a 75% chance to break all five acrylic nails on the hand used. If the nails break, Scratch can not be used on that hand until repaired, a full round action. If assisted by someone with 5 ranks in any Craft skill, it is treated as a move action for the Concubine, and an immediate action for the person assisting.

Chaotic Cans (Ex): So there you are, minding your own business when the city guard comes running up on you. They've got you cornered, and you can't go back to prison. It's go time, and there ain't no way you're losing. Two times per day, a Concubine may attempt to unleash her chaotic cans against any lawful aligned creature with one normal melee attack. She adds her Charisma bonus to her attack roll and 2d4 damage. If the Concubine accidentally hits a creature that is not lawful, the extra damage has no effect, but the ability is still used up for that day.

At every fourth level the Concubine gains an additional use of her Chaotic Cans ability. At second level and every even level after that, she adds and additional 1d4 damage.

Distracting Cleavage (Ex): A first level Concubine gains Distracting Cleavage as a bonus feat, even if she does not meet the prerequisite. If a Concubine already has this feat she may choose another feat for which she qualifies(Considerate as a charm).

Spells: A Concubine can use the following spells as spell-like abilities, which are drawn from the Charm Subschool spell list. To use a spell-like ability, a hooker must have a Charisma score equal to at least 10 + the spell level. The Difficulty Class (DC) for a saving throw against a Concubine's "spell" is 10 + the spell level + the hooker’s Charisma modifier. The DC is increased by 2 for humanoids of the opposite gender. She gets access to the following spells, usable a number of times per day equal to her charisma modifier x 2. She gets access to the spell at the given level.

1st—Charm Person


9th—Charm Monster

13th—Symbol of Persuasion

16th—Mass Charm Monster

Payday (Ex): Sometimes after services rendered, a customer is unwilling to pay. A Concubine that can't make a profit won't be a Concubine for long. Concubines learn to get whats owed, and sometimes they take a little extra. Whenever a Concubine strikes with an "acrylic nail" attack she may make a sleight of hand check (DC 17) as a free action to steal a bag of coins or similarly sized item off the person. If the Concubine is out of combat and doing any other sorts of "touching", the DC is 12, if the person she's touching has anything to steal.

What Did You Call Me?! (Ex): Sometimes you win people's affection with your winning smile and can-do attitude. Other times you got to knock a someone out. Once per day per four levels (minimum 1), a Concubine may enter a "Concubine's rage", during combat as a free action, which mechanically is identical to a barbarian's rage.

Free Hugs (Ex): Hugs are free, but for anything else you have to pay. A 4th level Concubine gets Improved Grapple as a bonus feat, even if she does not meet the prerequisites. If a Concubine already has this feat she instead gains a +4 bonus to her grapple check.

Get Low (Ex): Let's face it, when it comes to being pinned by a busty blonde or a vicious orc, the choice isn't hard. Whenever grappling a humanoid member of the opposite gender, the Concubine's opponent must make a Will Save (DC 10+Hooker class level) or automatically be grappled. The opponent is denied all grapple checks (thus, automatically failing them) until he succeeds this will save. The DC decreases by 1 for every round the Concubine does damage to her foe. Any creature that makes this will save is immune to this ability from this Concubine for 24 hours. Furthermore, she does not automatically fail a grapple unless the other creature is at least three size categories larger than her.

Turn a Blind Eye (Sp): At level 6 a Concubine can turn herself invisible, for a number of rounds equal to her charisma modifier (or until she attacks, whichever comes first). This length is doubled for Lawful Good-aligned creatures and halved for any creature with a chaotic alignment. While invisible she is also magically silenced. She can speak, but she is only heard by those who can see her.

She be trippin' (Ex): A level 7 Concubine gains Improved Trip as a bonus feat, even if she does not have the prerequisites. If a Concubine already has this feat she instead gains a +4 to her attack roll on trip attempts.

Unrivaled Streetwalker (Sp): Streetwalking isn't easy. A well trained Concubine can get where she needs to be, when she needs to be there. At level 9 a Concubine can use Freedom of Movement as a spell like ability at will, but only at night, or in places with dim illumination (such as caves, alleys, red light districts, or particularly dark forests).

Familiar with Tongues (Ex): Diseases aren't the only things a Concubine picks up during her travels. A level 10 Concubine can comprehend all spoken languages. Furthermore, she can instantly translate any language spoken she hears to ebonics (or any other language she knows). However, she cannot speak the language unless she already knows it. (ie, Twynkl, the human Concubine, can hear kobolds talking, in draconic, about plans to blow up city hall. She cannot speak draconic back to them unless she already knows how to speak draconic).

Sometimes I Fake it (Ex): Any Concubine will tell you the good ones can fake it. When the best Concubines fake it, they can make it count. Once per day a Concubine may replace any single attack roll with a Bluff check. She must declare that she is doing this before hearing the outcome of her original attack. She may use either her bluff check or her attack roll, whichever is higher.

He Kept Me Up All Night (Ex): A Concubine never gets a moment's rest. If it's not one thing it's another. For a person spending so much time in bed, it's a wonder how little she sleeps. At level 13 a Concubine need not sleep. Ever. She never suffers fatigue due to lack of sleep, and doesn't even need to meditate for a few hours. She may do whatever she wants during this time. This does not make her immune to sleep effects, it merely means she doesn't need to sleep naturally.

He Kept the Pimp Hand Strong (Ex): Every pimp slaps around his girls. You learn to roll with it. After years of enduring this, you've grown tough. At level 15 a Concubine gets total immunity to non-lethal damage, from attacks. Any attack that would normally deal non-lethal damage instead deals no damage at all. You can still take non-lethal damage from other sources (such as falling damage).

Double Team (Ex): Every Concubine's been there. It should come as no surprise that a level 17 Concubine can handle two as easily as she can handle one. She may grapple two adjacent creatures at once, as long as neither creature is more than one size category larger than her. She may choose which square she wishes to occupy, and can change squares as a free action once a round. She must roll all grapple checks independently, declaring which roll is for which target.

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (Ex): Some guys like blondes, others brunettes or redheads. No Concubine wants to lose a job because her hair is the wrong color. At level 19 a Concubine can spend 1 hour meditating and change her hair color for 24 hours. In addition to adding to her possible clientèle, she also gains bonuses according to her hair color. After 24 hours everything is returned to normal and all bonuses are lost. Her normal hair color, whatever it may be, does not convey any type of bonus. She may "change" her current hair color to the exact same color to gain access to that bonus. Because this is an extraordinary ability, it still functions in areas where magic is suppressed.

Blond:A blond may subtract up to her Concubine level from her intelligence score and add it to her charisma score. This change is one way, and irreversible for 24 hours. Because this is voluntary, she cannot get these points back by any means until time elapses. If she reduces her intelligence to zero she suffers all the normal penalties (unconsciousness). If she sets her intelligence to below 3 she is treated as an animal, and loses all class abilities except her natural scratch attack. She can still distinguish between friend and foe, and follow simple commands (run, attack, stay, etc).
Brunette: A brunette can use "Sometimes I Fake It" a number of times equal to her Charisma modifier. Furthermore, she can go both ways, meaning gender specific class features can be used on either gender, not just the alternate one. Finally, Double Team becomes Triple Timing' , meaning she can grapple three opponents as long as they all share a common corner on the battle grid. All other rules from Double Team apply.
Redhead: When a redhead gets angry, she goes all out. While in a "Concubine's Rage", a redhead grows one size category (which stacks with any other sort of size bonuses be they temporary or permanent), gaining the usual bonuses, and catches fire. She deals additional fire damage equal to 1d6 per two hooker levels, rounded up, on all natural/unarmed attacks (ie, 10d6 for a 20th level hooker). She is immune to any fire damage from her own fire, and gains Resistance/10 to other sources of fire, both magical and mundane.

World's Oldest Profession (Ex): Hot young things make money. Old women don't. That's a fact. As as 20th level Concubine, that's about the only thing you won't take lying down. At level 20 a Concubine stops aging. She no longer takes penalties to her ability scores for aging and cannot be magically aged. Any such penalties that she has already taken, however, remain in place. Because of this she cannot die of old age, however she can still die (from spells, damage, death effects, etc).


If a Concubine becomes Non-Chaotic, she loses the Chaotic Cans ability, but keeps all her Spell-Like abilities up to the current level. If a Concubine returns to her chaotic alignment within one month she may immediately begin taking levels in hooker again. If she leaves her alignment for more than one month she must go through some sort of atonement process, usually involving a prying eyes spell and various other willing participants, before she can begin taking levels in hooker again.

Epic Concubines[edit]

Hit Die: d10
Level Special
22nd Chaotic Cans 13d4
24th Chaotic Cans 14d4 8/day, What Did You Call Me?! 6/day
26th Chaotic Cans 15d4
28th Chaotic Cans 16d4 9/day, What Did You Call Me?! 7/day
30th Chaotic Cans 17d4

8 + Int modifier skill points per level.

Human Concubine Starting Package[edit]

Weapons: Dagger (Main), 5 Acrylic Nails (Natural, Off-Hand).

Skill Selection: Pick a number of skills equal to 4 + Int modifier.

Skill Ranks Ability Armor
Gather Information 4 Cha
Handle Animal 4 Cha
Intimidate 4 Cha

Feat: Skill Focus (Gather Information)

Bonus Feats: Improved Initiative

Gear: Skimp Clothes (basically rags, but nicer, and give a +2 to all Charisma based checks against opposite gender).

Gold: 100 gp.

Campaign Information[edit]

Playing a Hooker[edit]

Religion: No particular religious preference. Some Concubines are devout followers of Pelor, or in rare cases, St. Cuthbert, but many more Concubines worship Olidammara, or other deities. However, the vast majority of Concubines have no religion, and mutter a prayer to all the gods before doing something particularly dangerous.

Other Classes: Concubines generally get along great with all non-lawful characters, and do not work with Paladins or lawful-aligned clerics. Rogues and Concubines can be the best of friends or bitter enemies. Sometimes it's hard to tell which.

Combat: Concubines make for excellent zone controllers. With their seductive powers they can charm one man, and then wrestle others to the ground with their grappling abilities. With Improved Trip and Freedom of Movement they can control the tide of battle in almost any environment.

Advancement: Because of their inherent natural charisma they often fall in among sorcerers, and with their ability to control zones they can become decent fighters. Finally, with their charming personalities (and bodies), they also can make competent bards.

Concubines in the World[edit]

I was young. I needed the gold pieces.
—Twynkl, 9th level Human Concubine

Daily Life: Most Concubines spend the day sleeping off their hangovers and regretting the decisions they made the previous night. At night they go out, get drunk and make more bad decisions to continue the cycle.

Organizations: Some cities have legalized prostitution, and Concubine unions. These, however, are few and far between. Most Concubines run with a band of other Concubines, and are given orders from their pimps.

NPC Reactions: "Damn, what a slut." Most Concubines don't get any respect from NPCs, and they probably don't deserve any.

Concubine Lore[edit]

Characters with ranks in Gather Information or Knowledge (Local) can research Concubines to learn more about them. When a character makes a skill check, read or paraphrase the following, including information from lower DCs.

Gather Information or Knowledge (Local)
DC Result
5 Concubines have sex for money. Characters who get this result can know the names and locations of specific Concubines and districts related to them. Information, however, may be old, and may have changed due to guard presence or other outside factors (like rival Concubines stepping in).
10 Some Concubines have a dangerous side. No, not that side, a metaphorical side.
15 Concubines like grappling with opponents, and friends, and strangers. Anyone with enough coin, really.
20 Concubines can sometimes use magical abilities to pull the heartstrings (and other parts) of humanoids, bending their victim's minds (and bodies) to their will.

Concubines in the Game[edit]

Concubines are generally used for obtaining information

Adaptation: With high ranks in Bluff and Diplomacy a Concubine can make for a information gathering character. Multiclassing with Fighter can net bonus feats that will help you make your Concubine a better zone controller.

Sample Encounter: In a dark back alley, you see a sleazy, yet attractive looking woman in the distance. She approaches you, and asks you if you are looking for some fun.

Vivian Ward

CR 10

Female human hooker 10
CG Medium Humanoid (Human)
Init/Senses +6/Listen +13, Spot +13
Languages Common
AC 12, touch 12, flat-footed 10
(Dodge, Mobility)
hp 50 (10 HD)
Fort/Ref/Will +4/+9/+7
Speed 30 ft. (6 squares)
Melee scratch +8/+3(1d2+1/20) or
Melee +1 flaming heavy mace +9/+4 (1d8+1+1d6 fire/x2) or
Melee +1 frost longspear +9/+4 (1d8+1+1d6 frost/x3)1
Base Atk/Grp +7/+12
Special Actions Chaotic Cans (7d4) 5/day
Abilities Str 13, Dex 14, Con 12, Int 8, Wis 10, Cha 17
Feats Improved Grapple, Improved Initiative, Deft Hands, Improved Trip, Endurance, Dodge, Mounted Combat, Distracting Cleavage
Skills Bluff +10, Disguise +16, Listen +18, Ride +8, Sleight of Hand +17, Spot +18, Tumble +15, Use Rope +17
Possessions Boots of Desperation2, Cloak of Predatory Vigor2, Gloves of Manual Prowess2, Rod of Fumbling2, Rod of Viscid Globs2, 2 potions of Cure Light wounds.
Patron Deity Pelor
Chaotic Cans: 4 times a day Vivian may deal 7d4 additional damage to any lawful aligned opponent.
Distracting Cleavage: Vivan has Distracting Cleavage as a bonus feat
Spells Vivian may cast the following spells each 3 times a day: Charm Person DC 14 (16 for humanoid males), Enthrall DC 15 (17 for humanoid males)
Hooker abilities: As a level 10 hooker, Vivian has the following class features: Familiar with Tongues, Unrivaled Streetwalker, What Did You Call Me?! 2/day, B!tch be trippin', Turn a Blind Eye, Get Low, Free Hugs, Payday.

1 Reach weapon
2 From Magic Item Compendium
Vivan is a younger human woman, about 23 years old. Some people may say her face is vaguely reminiscent of a horse, but there is no doubt that many people find her attractive. Her wide, toothy smile is easily her most recognizable feature. She has done very well for herself in her current career, but now she's looking for a way out. Her dirty clothes, really nothing more than a few scraps, hang from her slender frame. Her dapple gray horse, Pygmalion, stands tied outside one of her usual haunts while she spends the nights with gentleman callers.

Note: Vivian Ward was made as a joke NPC for an April Fools class, and as such her balance is questionable at best. Her items total considerably less than what is considered average for an NPC of her level. This should lower her CR to well below 10.

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