Poinkin (5e Equipment)
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The Prodigious Poinkin is a sentient, +2 adamantine long sword of short stature who speaks like the American comedian Jackie Mason. It is very self conscious about its size, and it fears — despite its gleaming adamantine construction — that foes won’t find it impressive or formidable looking — and may even laugh at it mitten drinnen.
Because of this, Poinkin resists attacking directly (though it's quite fine with sneak attacks). A wielder making a direct attack must contest charisma against the sword. On a fail, advantage is downgraded (advantaged to normal, normal to disadvantaged, disadvantaged to unable to attack). The wielder can contest again every round, and until successful the downgrade of advantage applies to all attacks with the weapon (even sneak attacks). However, Poinkin’s charisma is 9, so it’s not too hard to cajole it into a frontal attack. Flattery works wonders.
If Poinkin is called a short sword, or if anyone makes any comment, however harmless, about its shortness, it will stop communicating, and a successful charisma contest by the wielder (at disadvantage) must be made or the advantage on attacks is downgraded for an hour or until a successful contest is made (1 attempt per combat turn). If the person who insulted Poinkin apologizes sufficiently, Poinkin will relent its sulk and return to normal.
Poinkin will not tolerate its attuned wielder using, carrying or praising any weapons that are larger or longer than Poinkin.
Sentience: Alignment NG, INT 12, WIS 15, CHA 9, communicates through speech, speaks common and Dwarvish, and has hearing and night vision to a range of 120 feet. Special features: Gleaming: never gets dirty. Whenever an adamantine weapon hits an object, it is a critical hit.
History: A clan of dwarves pooled centuries of wealth to purchase a massive amount of adamantine to make into magical weapons. The first were a pair of enormous battle axes, Slaynir and Fenfear. Then came the great sword Galklaut. Fourth was a elegant claymore called Bildee’s Point. Fifth, a magnificent rapier known as Kentero’s Point. Sixth, a bastard sword named Gruffnir’s Point. Though sure they would recoup much more than their original fortunes on the sale of what they’d made so far, the dwarves used the last of the adamantium to make a long sword… but they only had enough for a short sword. The seventh piece was the runt of the litter: Little Point or Poinkin.
Despite its comparative petiteness, Poinkin found a special place in the heart of the dwarves. They gave it the gleaming property so it could never be soiled, and the dwarven sorcerer infused it with sentience as she had done with the rest of the weapons. Their big mistake was talking about Poinkin's accidental origin as a short sword instead of the intended long sword. Poinkin's giant litter mates patronized Poinkin and teased it mercilessly for its length.
While the dwarves received kings’ ransoms for the six, Poinkin stayed with the dwarves who never intended to sell it. Its sense of inferiority grew with every sale, though eventually all the weapons were sold and Poinkin was the favorite possession of the forge dwarves. But when they acquired more adamantium and started to create a new batch of huge weapons, Poinkin couldn’t stand being the runt again and decided it was time to go. It convinced its current wielder to leave the forge in search of adventure. The dwarf didn’t survive long in the overworld, and Poinkin began to travel among new wielders, never getting over its wounded self-image as a longsword that got short changed.