I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees (5e Optimized Character Build)
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I am the Lorax, I Speak for the Trees
Have you ever wanted to become the Lorax? No? Well, get out.
Oh, so you do? It's quite simple, really. With the right race, class, and spell choices, you can make a character near-identical to Dr Seus' tree-hugging mustache man!
(Note: This build is based on the Illumination movie Lorax, rather than the original book.)
Becoming the Lorax
|“||You don't even have a mustache!||”|
|—The Lorax, The Lorax|
Let's first choose our race. Forest gnomes, although lacking in the ASI department, are close enough to the Lorax, since they're Small size and can have blonde hair. Their ability to speak with forest critters doesn't hurt, either. Make a male forest gnome with a large, blonde mustache. Then simply put on orange furs over your whole body, and voila! You've got a furson- er, you're the Lorax, appearance-wise! Alternatively, if your DM is willing, you could make yourself the Lorax outright in biology, and simply use the statistics of a forest gnome.
Obviously, we're choosing druid as our class. We'll go with the circle of the land and choose forest. This will give us bonus spells for we'd otherwise have to use slots for (it'll make sense later). Make sure to choose Transport Via Plants as one of your spells. Stone Shape and Wind Walk will come in handy down the road. All your other spells are up to you. You should also try to get proficiency in persuasion, if you can. Since this isn't a build about playability, your ASI will likely be partially out of whack, since you're a forest gnome. This isn't important, however. If you do want to be playable, make sure to build up your Wisdom.
|“||You're telling me you didn't just see me magically appear out of that stump, with all the lightning and thunder and stuff? Huh?||”|
|—The Lorax, The Lorax|
While we can't spontaneously appear when someone chops down a tree, we can pretend like we did. This is where your circle spells come in handy. First, we must be within 100 ft. of the place where a tree was chopped down, and we must have visited that place before. After we watch the tree get cut down (oh, so tragic. Let me go put rocks in a circle around it.), cast Call Lightning using our circle spells. Strike the stump, then break concentration. Cast Transport Via Plants, targeting the cut-down tree, since the stump isn't large enough (the cut-down tree should be close enough to the stump at this point), and pop out of it. To someone who wasn't paying close attention, it seems as though lightning struck the stump of the tree they just cut down out of the blue, and you, the Lorax, popped out of it, or at least the general area. Bam! Dramatic entrance complete!
The Cryptic "Unless" Rock Thing
|“||Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.||”|
|—Dr. Seus, The Lorax|
So let's say the Once-ler (or whoever the random lumberjack we appeared in front of happened to be) didn't listen, and caused untold environmental harm. Maybe you failed a persuasion check against him, if you chose proficiency with it. Now we can have our dramatic exit, with the cryptic "Unless" rock thing! Not creepy at all! First, we cast Stone Shape to make the "Unless" runestone at our feet. The kicker is flying away. In the film, the Lorax gave himself a wedgie and just kinda floated off into the sky. Since druids don't get the Fly spell, which is the closest thing to the real Lorax's exit, we'll either have to get a scroll or potion of flying, or try something else. We could use wild shape to become a flying creature, like an eagle, or we could cast Wind Walk on ourselves. No matter what, we'll make a dramatic exit and teach Beanpole a lesson!... Maybe. Hopefully he doesn't wait until a motorized-unicycle-riding 12-year old boy who stalks a teenage girl shows up at his doorstep to replant the trees.
Other Lorax Stuff
|“||If you're not gone by the time the sun sets on this valley, all the forces of nature will be unleashed upon you and curse you until the end of your days! You have been warned.||”|
|—The Lorax to the Once-ler, The Lorax|
The Lorax claims that he can't use his powers for direct intervention against the Once-ler because "that's not how it works." However, we can free ourselves from that restriction, as long as we have spell slots (which we will). We could straight-up attack our tree-chopper, or make his life miserable via Contagion or something similar. Remember, the trees can't be harmed if the Lorax is armed. Alternatively, we could grow the trees back with Entangle or Plant Growth. We could even let the trees speak for themselves with Awaken.
In the film, it was shown that the Lorax could speak to, although not directly understand, forest creatures (though the whole cast seemed capable of doing this). As a forest gnome, we have this ability as well, so you can potentially speak for the animals as well as the trees. Say, that reminds me, does the Lorax speak directly to the trees, or simply speak on their behalf? Either way, we can speak to the trees, as well as for them. You can use Speak with Plants for more direct effects, or Commune with Nature to find disturbances in forests.
We can also float our tree-chopper down the river in his own bed. Aside from carrying it, we could use Control Water to direct the flow into the bed and carry it off. We could also, as was in the film, command animals to help us carry it.
You're the Lorax Now
With the right setup, you have the looks, demeanor, abilities, and purpose of the Lorax, and you can reenact several scenes from the film, plus some extra druid stuff. Imagine all the stupid stuff you could do as the Lorax himself!